Something Corporate
by Her Sweetness
Summary: Jealous of Kaiba and his corporation, Marik and Malik set out to make their own company. But when Seto finds out about it, everyone sees that he wont give up his fame and fans without a fight. FINISHED!
1. I think I just thunk

Her Sweetness: Hello all. Not a very long wait for my next Marik and Malik masterpiece, eh? I didn't want you all to die of suspense (just kidding). So, let's get the party started.

Something Corporate

Chapter 1:

It was a foggy October morning in the city of Domino. Marik and Malik had just gotten back from taking money from old ladies on the street. They were now sitting on their living room couch as usual, arguing over the remote. Marik wanted to watch SpongeBob and Malik wanted the Golden Girls.

"Let go of it!" Malik screamed, "It's my turn!"

"No way, you watch that stupid show all the time! Today is a special episode of SpongeBob! He's going camping with Patrick!" Marik tugged harder on the remote control.

Then Malik pulled harder, "So what? Today Blanche finds out that her brother is gay! I want to see it!"

"You and your girly shows, Malik! Why don't you ever do something more manly! Grow a beard and become a mountain man!"

"Oh, please! And SpongeBob is manly? If I hear that incessant giggling anymore, I swear, I'm gonna totally lose it!"

"Grr! No one insults my favorite show! Not even you!" Marik yanked on the channel changer one last time and sent Malik tumbling over the side of the couch and onto the floor.

"Heh." Marik chuckled with satisfaction, "The power of SpongeBob will always prevail, Malik. That's a lesson well learned."

"Yeah, whatever." Malik sat himself back on the couch next to his yami and sulked while watching Marik turn the channels.

He was going pretty fast, with his finger not leaving the channel button. As he was trying to get to the channel he needed, the remote stopped working.

Marik banged it on his hikari's head, "Hey, this isn't working."

"Well, don't hit me with it!" Malik shouted, shielding himself from the remote. "I guess we'll just have to miss SpongeBob. Oh, what a tragedy." He smirked.

"Hmm…" Marik sighed and watched the Fox News channel, which is what channel that the remote stopped on.

They were doing an exposé on Seto Kaiba and the great job that he's doing with his step-father's company, Kaiba Corp.

They showed a picture of Kaiba on the front a magazine called 'Rich Monthly'. They couldn't get him to come into the studio so they just talked about him.

"He sure does work hard for that company," An anchor woman said, "Kaiba Corporation is one of the most popular industries of the century."

"Seto Kaiba is a genius, Jules. I mean, you'd have to be a genius to run a company with such a great reputation." A man addressed the other lady, "He's always inventing things that make gaming more fun. I hear he's coming out with a new product next year."

"Oh, yes. I'm already excited about-" Marik kicked the television set and that interrupted the picture.

"What'd you do that for?" Malik asked, "I was getting into that."

"Please. We see Kaiba on T.V every week. I'm tired of all this attention he gets… it's cramping our style."

"What does his publicity have to do with us, Marik?"

"It has everything to do with us, silly! We're the ones trying to take over the world, right?"

"Right…"

"We're the ones that have to make ourselves known to the masses, right?"

"I suppose."

"We're the ones who should be enriching the lives of those around us!"

"… Eh, ya lost me."

"Work with me here, Malik." Marik stood up and scratched his head, "What if… what if we were to be more popular than Kaiba and his company…?"

"But you can't compare two guys to a international corporation, Marik. We'd pale in comparison. And besides that-"

"Hold on, Malik! I think I just thunk!"

"Is that a word?"

"Who cares?" Marik waved Malik's comment away, "Listen, why don't we do what Kaiba does?"

"You mean boss other people around and act all tough?"

"Huh? No! I mean start a company and make stuff for people to enjoy. That way we'll be just as popular as Kaiba, if not more so."

"Oh, Marik, that's nuts! You heard that man on the news. He said you'd have to be a genius to run a company with such a great reputation."

"He didn't say that… Well, okay, maybe he did say that. But we're geniuses, aren't we? Err… at least I am a genius."

"You are so mean."

"I'm not trying to be mean, Malik," He stifled a laugh, "But let's face it. You're not exactly the brightest bulb in the warehouse. Remember when you baked chicken and put suntan lotion all over it so it wouldn't burn in the oven?"

"Hey! Can't a guy make one mistake in his life?"

"Malik, common sense tells ya that you should just turn the oven down."

"Nobody told me!"

"… Well, I'm just trying to prove my point. And I think I just did. You don't need to be another Albert Einstein in order to make a company better than Kaiba Corp. We just need to focus on what we're doing and we'll be fine."

"Uh, right. So what are we doing again?"

"Ugh." Marik groaned, "Stay right there." he went upstairs and, in a minute, came back down with a little black book in his hand.

"What's that?"

He opened the book and flipped a few pages, "This is Seto Kaiba." he pointed to Kaiba's picture in the book, "And we're going to be better than him. We're going to outdo his company."

"I get that part!" Malik said, agitated, "I just don't know why we have to do this now… we have all our lives to be better than Kaiba. Besides, it's cold and all I want to do is sleep."

"A few minutes ago all you wanted to do was watch Golden Girls."

"B-But-"

"Don't throw your but at me, Malik. There will be plenty of time for sleeping and T.V later. But now is the time for action!"

"Action?"

"Yes, action. We have to pull Kaiba off his high horse and assume our rightful position as the coolest, smartest people on the face of the Earth!" He put his hands on his hips and yelled at his hikari, "Are ya with me, Malik!"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Eh… no, not really."

"… Then I'm with you." Malik curled up into a ball on the couch and began to lightly snore. 


	2. Ishtar Industries and the Miniport

Something Corporate

Chapter 2:

That same day, when Malik woke up from his nap, Marik wasted no time in putting his hikari to work. He and Malik sat in the middle of their bedroom floor and were brainstorming about the different things they'd need to get a corporation together.

"Well, let's see." Malik rubbed the back of his head, "We'll need a name, first of all. And a logo."

"Ha ha! That's where we're lucky, Malik. You see, Kaiba Corp's logo is just a KC. How boring. We, on the other hand, will have a decorative logo."

"Decorative? Marik, I think simple would be better-"

"Oh, don't be silly. Simple is stupid. Our logo will have something like the Grim Reaper… riding a chariot of fire and being pulled by a thousand big black horses!" He turned to Malik, "What do ya think?"

"… Can't we just have, like, a heart or something?"

Marik shook his head, "I worry about you sometimes. Anyway, the logo can wait. We need a name. It's got to be cooler than Kaiba Corp, though."

"How about… The Cooler Than Kaiba Corp Corporation? Wouldn't that be a nice name?"

"Ugh. Malik, I don't know where your brain is today, but it certainly isn't inside your head. Okay, I guess this means I gotta think about it for a second…" He paced around the room and then said, "I think with this name thing, we should go pretty simple."

Malik nodded in approval.

"Marik Co. will have to do."

"Marik Co… yeah, that sounds- Wait a minute! Marik Co! What about me?"

"What about you?"

"I'm part of this company too! I should get my name in the title as well."

"But it would be too long if I added your name!" Marik whined. "Well, I guess we could always call it Ishtar Industries. That would be okay. Any objections?"

"Nope. I like it."

"Good. Then that about wraps it up for the easy part." Marik picked Malik up by the collar of his shirt and dragged him down stairs.

"W-Where are we going!"

Marik let go of his hikari when they reached the front door of their house. "Look, you cannot have a company that doesn't do anything. We're going to have to sell something, right? A product of some kind?"

"Well, yeah. But where are we going?"

"You'll see." Marik started walking out the door and down the driveway. Malik followed him after locking the door and they both went down two blocks to the bus stop. It was only about two minutes till the bus came and they hopped on.

When Marik and Malik took their seats, Malik looked over at his yami who was reading a newspaper, "… Now, will you tell me what's up?"

"Look at this." He held up a section of the paper so Malik could see it.

"Hmm." Malik read, "It's just talking about a science fair at some community college in northern Domino. Is that where we are heading?"

"Yup. That's exactly where we're going. We've got to go there in order to get a kick-butt product for our company to sell. It's got to be incredibly good, though. None of that stupid little kid stuff that Microsoft comes out with. I need something that rocks the very foundation of the world as we know it."

"And we're going to find something like that at a science fair?"

"Don't underestimate those fancy pancy college kids. They can surprise you sometimes."

"Um, okay."

It was about twenty to thirty minutes later when the bus arrived in front of the Domino Community College campus. Marik and Malik bounded down the stairs and stepped onto the grass.

"It's bigger than I thought it would be." Malik said, looking around at all the people running and lugging heavy books.

Marik growled in aggravation, "That stupid bus made us late, we might miss the beginning!" He turned around as the bus was driving away and yelled at the bus driver, "You know, you can still go fast during the yellow lights! Where did you graduate busing school!"

"Forget it, Marik, let's just do what we came here to do." Malik suggested and began to walk towards the entrance of the big building.

Marik went with his hikari and they followed the large crowds into the auditorium. Inside was a wide array of students standing beside projects that they had created and worked hard on.

The crowd that Marik and Malik had gone inside with were now seating themselves in the chairs that were on the other side of the large room. A woman that Marik supposed was the Dean or principal of the school took the stage.

"Thank you, parents, professors, and friends for joining us at the annual citywide science fair." She said, "Before we allow you all to look around at the projects, we will have a few words from each of our sponsors…"

Marik rolled his eyes, "C'mon, Malik. We don't need to listen to her, let's go check out all those kids' projects."

"But Marik, I want to hear the speeches. They might give out free buttons."

"Ugh. Fine, then. Meet up with me after you've gotten your button."

"'Kay." Malik walked off in one direction and Marik went off in another.

Marik didn't want to make himself conspicuous so he tried to walk only in the shadows and keep a low profile. He looked at different projects and the best thing he'd seen thus far was a electric waterfall.

He'd covered half the auditorium and still nothing he thought was good enough. He shrugged, 'Maybe I gave these college kids too much credit. I mean, this stuff is old hat. Why doesn't someone invent a plasma ray or something useful like that…?'

In a minute, Malik came bouncing up to him, "Hi, Marik! Look what I got." he held up a button that said Science Geek and a pencil that said I love learning.

Marik shuddered, "… Malik."

"I got one for you too." He held out a pencil with test tubes and beakers all over it. Marik put it in his pocket. "I like this place, Marik. It's got doughnuts."

"Malik, we'll have to leave. I looked all over and I couldn't find one student that had created anything worth while."

"Well, what about that kid over there?" Malik pointed, "He's booth looks pretty cool. He had a lot of judges hovering by him earlier."

"Okay. But if he doesn't have anything, we're leaving."

They walked over and snuck up behind him so that the boy couldn't see them. Marik looked at the two armbands that he had laying on the table.

"What are these supposed to be?" Malik whispered to his yami. "They sure do look nice. I have a teal-colored shirt that would go great with that."

"Will you stop it Malik! We're on a mission." Marik whispered back, "I don't have time for your fashion tips."

"Hi." Marik and Malik looked up at a young man with thick glasses and about thirty zits scattered all over his face, "Are you two judges or something?"

Malik shook his head, "We're just looking for something that we can-"

"Quiet, you." Marik elbowed him then turned his attention to the boy, "Yep, we are judges, that's what we are. Judges. So, why don't you tell us what ya got here."

"Ha!" He put his hands on his hips and stood in front of his table, "Well, first of all my name is Elmer Fizz. And my project is the best one here, you'll find no better! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Malik nudged his yami, "This is guy's nuts, Marik. Let's go before he whips out a chainsaw."

Elmer continued, "Now, what I have done is simple. Well, not really, but it is to a genius like me. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!" He lifted up one of the armbands off his table, "This is what I like to call a Miniport. It's an instant transport device, capable of moving one thing from point A to point B in a matter of seconds."

"Wow…" Marik and Malik's eyes widened, "Really?"

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Of course! Ha ha ha!" Elmer slid the armband on his wrist and pressed a button, "Observe." he pressed another button and was gone.

Marik looked around, "Where'd he go?"

"…Right here." Elmer said from behind them. "See? I told you. I combined the space-time-continuum with another dimension and was able to create a velocity that could support the molecular structure of a humanoid figure and rearrange them in the manner that they were first established."

Marik shook his head, "I didn't understand a word you just said."

"Ah ha ha ha ha! Ho ho ho ho!" Elmer held his head and laughed while dancing around the table. "Eh tee hee tee hee tee hee tee hee tee hee!"

"… Marik," Malik whispered, "That Miniport would put us on the map!"

"You read my mind, Malik." Marik picked up the other Miniport that was sitting on the table. He stuffed it in his pocket and then walked over to Elmer and asked, "Can I see that?"

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" He slid the Miniport off his arm and handed it to Marik, "Sure, but just be careful! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Marik gave it to his hikari and he slid it on his wrist. "These are really comfortable. What did you use for the material? Silk?"

Elmer smiled, "Cotton."

"Ugh." Marik rolled his eyes and dragged his hikari out of the auditorium. "Bye, Elmer!" Malik called before they went through the door.

He nodded, "Yeah, bye- Hey, wait a minute! Come back here! Hey!" Elmer ran after them but by the time he got to the entrance, Marik and Malik were already gone. 


	3. A used assistant

Something Corporate

Chapter 3:

It was around ten o' clock at night and the Kaiba Corporation building was dark. Almost every one of the normal employees had gone home an hour ago but there were still two people left in the building.

Seto Kaiba and his assistant were both inside his office, where Kaiba was yelling at him for one reason or another.

"Listen, Carter, this is the third time you've lost those prototypes I gave to you." He said, sitting in his chair behind the large hardwood desk. "You know very well that those are an important part to our new project next year and we only have three months to finish it."

"I-I know… I'm sorry Mr. Kaiba!" Carter stood in the middle of the room looking down at his shoes, "I didn't mean to. You see, I had to go to the store and then-"

"No, Carter, no more of your excuses. I'm tired of you and everything you do wrong. It's not just the prototypes that you've lost. It's the stocks, the bonds, and my laundry!"

"… I have your pink shirt at my apartment…" he muttered.

"Did you get it clean?"

"Oh, yes sir!" Carter nodded energetically, "I got the ketchup stain out of it, too!"

"Really? Because, you know, the maids used Xtra and they never got all of the-" Kaiba stopped himself and sighed, "This has gone on too long. I was planning to get this over with and then go home."

"G-Get what over with, s-sir?"

He stood up and walked across the gray carpet to the door, "Your fired, Carter." he said with a blank face and then exited, closing the door behind him. Carter stood there for a minute, taking it in.

"… Fired? W-What! Mr. Kaiba! Mr. Kaiba!" Carter ran out the door after his ex-boss. He had to go out to the parking lot where Kaiba was getting into the back of his limo, "Wait, please, you can't fire me!"

"And why not?" He asked without any interest.

"I-I have a dog to feed! I moved away from my mom two weeks ago! If she finds out I've been fired, she'll force me back in with her and my dad! And he hates me, he throws bricks at my head! Please, Mr. Kaiba! I still have the scars from last Thanksgiving!" Carter began to cry while pleading, "M-My girlfriend left me after finding me with another woman, last week! But it wasn't another woman, it was my grandpa! She didn't believe me and she burned all my clothes!"

Kaiba tilted his head in wonder, "What the…?"

"Oh, Susie!" He shouted into the wind, "Why! Why! A-and now, Mr. Kaiba is going to fire me! Who has done more for you, Mr. Kaiba, then me? I have forever been your faithful servant! Oh, cruel fate, you have claimed my life!"

Kaiba threw a five dollar bill at Carter and signaled to the driver to go, "You poor, poor thing."

"But…!"

As they drove off, Kaiba called back at him, "I expect your office cleaned out by next Monday."

Carter sat on the sidewalk and sighed, "Now what…?"

-

It was dark outside in the shadow of all the tall buildings. The streets were pitch-black with a exception of a few streetlights and the occasional car driving by. Marik and Malik were walking on the sidewalk and could barely see two feet in front of them.

"You shouldn't have ticked off that bus driver, Marik." Malik pouted, walking on the left side of his yami, "Because of you and your rude remarks, we were kicked off and she left us to walk home!"

"Oh, come off it, Malik. It wasn't my fault. You can't drive well with only one eye. She should've put her other eye back in."

"… Well, why can't we use the Miniports to get home?"

"I told you already, we don't know how to use them exactly. We don't know how to get home with these…we could end up in a volcano or Florida… or the Pope's bathroom."

"Aw, man. We've got to get a car someday."

They continued to walk in silence for a few minutes, until they approached another streetlight and spotted someone underneath it, writhing on the floor making an awful noise. "Wooooooo-ah-hooooooo! Hoooooo!"

"Oh my goodness," Malik whispered, "It's one of those spirits, like in the magazines. Let's get him and turn him in for money!"

"Relax. I think it's just some bum. Just keep walking."

As they walked by, Malik looked down at the man crying on the cement. He was still making those god-awful noises, but he didn't seem like a bum.

"Marik," Malik tugged on his yami's sleeve, "That guy isn't a bum. His clothes aren't rags and they're still in style."

"No, Malik, I don't think-" but before Marik could finish his sentence, Malik had already bent down next to the man wallowing on the floor.

"Hi." He said, "Why are you crying?"

"Wooooooo-ah-hooooooo! Hoooooo! Oh, Mr. Kaiba, why! Hoooooo!" he began to howl at the moon, which hung, brightly, right behind the Kaiba Corp building.

"See, Malik?" Marik rolled his eyes, "He's some kind of nut. Let's go."

"Wait a minute, Marik, he said Mr. Kaiba." Malik poked the man on his head and when he stop yelling, Malik asked, "Do you know Kaiba?"

He sniffed, "Um… yes, he… he's my ex-boss. Ooooh! My ex-boss! How will I feed my doggy!"

"So, when did he fire you?" Malik asked.

"Today. I-I begged him for my job back but he just gave me this." He held up a five dollar bill, "What am I supposed to do with this! My dog eats expensive food. It costs 5.99, not 5.00! 5.99!" he lapsed into his howling again. 

"…So, you were his…?" Marik sat down with both of them on the cold sidewalk.

"Assistant. I may not have always been… efficient… but I gave my all to him and Kaiba Corporation for three years! Three years! I don't know how he can just leave me after all we've been through… Oh, the agony! Agony!"

"… Hey, Malik, I think my brain just hatched an idea." Marik said, pulling his hikari in for a private conversation, "This guy's been Kaiba's assistant, and he'd know everything about corporate business, right?"

"Well, I wouldn't say everything… this guy's kinda cuckoo. But he must've known something for Kaiba to keep him around for three years."

"Right! So, let's get this guy to join Ishtar Industries! We could use him to help us out with the selling and taking over the world with our company."

"Sounds cool. But what if he wont do it?" 

"Heh, trust me." Marik grinned.

"Wooooooo-ah-hooooooo! Hoooooo!" He was now rolling back and forth on the ground, overcome with tears and sorrow.

Marik and Malik just now noticed that he wasn't as calm as he was a minute ago, if you can even call that calm.

"I have no reason to live anymore!" He stood up and began to run into the street. A car was coming down the corner at about 80mph and he didn't even see the man running out in his way.

"What the hell is wrong with him!" Marik sprinted out after him and pushed him out of the way and into the wet grass on the other side of the road. The car sped by without even realizing what had happened.

Marik caught his breath and then screamed, "What, do you have some kind of a death wish or something!"

"I have no reason to live…" He moaned, "I don't even have a job anymore!"

Malik came over and said, "That's no reason to kill yourself. We can give you the same exact job you had. Only better. You wanna work for us? You could be the assistant to the CEOs of Ishtar Industries."

"R-Really?" He asked, "You guys have a company like Mr. Kaiba's?"

Marik nodded, "What's your name?"

"Well, Mr. Kaiba called me Carter. But that's my last name… you two can call me Pips. That's the name my mom gave me." he said cheerfully.

Marik and Malik stifled their laughs, "O-Okay, Pips. Welcome aboard." 


	4. Startup for the wittle ones

Something Corporate

Chapter 4:

The next day, after Marik, Malik and Pips had gone to their homes, they met again at Pips apartment. Marik and Malik couldn't take the bus (because the bus driver still hadn't forgiven Marik for his rude comments) and they had to walk about three miles to the apartment complex that Pips lived in.

Marik knocked on the door of apartment 2B, "Hey, Pips, open up."

"Hello!" Pips opened the door immediately and welcomed both Marik and Malik inside. Once they came in, they saw that the apartment wasn't exactly the definition of clean and tidy. The entire room was decorated in yellow and was covered from top to bottom in dirty clothes.

"I like all the yellow." Malik said, "It speaks to me."

Marik looked around, "Enough speaking, let's just get down to business."

"I'm sorry the place is such a mess. All of these clothes aren't mine. They belong to Mr. Kaiba. I'm sure he'll be asking about them someday, but I have to get it all washed."

"Ew, you did his laundry?" Marik asked, obliviously disgusted, "You couldn't pay me enough to touch somebody's dirty clothes."

"I know, he had me do a lot of things like that. I was always happy to help whenever possible."

"Well, you can do our laundry now. Heh… Our clothes are more fun anyway. You'll never know what you can find in my pockets. " Marik said and Malik nodded. "True, true."

"Oh, I'm so happy! I finally have people to be my friends!" Pips danced around the cluttered room and sat himself down at the small table, "Mr. Kaiba never came over to my house. It always made me so miserable, but now…!"

"…" Marik sat down on the couch and ignored Pips' comment about friends, "So where's this dog we keep hearing about?"

"Oh!" Pips stood up and grinned shyly, "You want to see my little Rupert?"

They both nodded slightly.

Pips turned around, "Okay, don't move," and walked into the hallway. Even though he couldn't be seen, Marik and Malik could hear a door open and Pips talking to, who they guessed, was the dog.

He came out in less than a minute with a bundle of fur in his arms. "This is Rupert." Pips held him up so that Marik and Malik could see a little brown puppy with big brown eyes.

"Uh…" Malik looked closer at the puppy in Pips' arms, "Something isn't exactly right here."

"Wait a minute!" Marik raced up to Pips and Malik and starred at the puppy, "That thing isn't living!"

Pips twisted his mouth and sighed, "Well… Rupert had a bit of an accident last year. I'm afraid a car ran over him. But my dad was an expert taxidermist so he fixed Rupert right up!" He cuddled the dead thing in his arms, "Yes, he did! And now he's all better!"

"…Oh, you are sick and weird!" Malik exclaimed, "I can't believe you would-"

Marik clamped his hand on his hikari's mouth, "Malik, if we want this guy to help us, we can't criticize his… questionable behavior." he whispered.

"Okay." Malik whispered back, "But I better not have to pet that thing."

When Marik and Malik sat back on the couch, Pips sat Rupert down in front of a food bowl and the stuffed dog tipped over.

"Well, let's get down to business." Pips said, "I'm assuming that you do have a product? What is it?"

Marik slid the black armband off his wrist and held it up in front of Pips, "This is a Miniport. It's a instant transport… uh, thing. Yup."

"Instant transport…?" Pips leaned closer to it, "R-Really?"

"Uh-huh." Malik nodded, "In a few seconds, it'll get ya where ya need to go."

Pips stood up, "This is ingenious! Even Mr. Kaiba didn't come up with anything like this! You're both sure you were the ones who invented this?"

"Eh heh… Yeah, we invented them." Marik lied.

"Are you sure?"

"What's with all the third degree! What, you don't believe me?" He pouted. "I mean sheesh!"

"Oh, no, no, no! Nothing like that at all!" Pips reassured him, "All I'm saying is that… well, you two don't seem exactly like the… um, smart type."

Marik groaned, "Here we go."

"No, but seriously, if you did invent these… this could be the beginning of a totally new age." Pips looked at Malik now, "How many do you have?"

"Two."

"Hmm. Not good. But that's okay… I know a few high-ranking people at the patenting office… and maybe I should call my brother in the Blackmarket industry… just to take care of all the loose ends."

"No way! Your brother operates in the Blackmarket group!" Marik asked.

"Yes. He's vice president. If I talk to him, maybe we can pull this off on a limited budget. You both do have money, right?"

They looked at each other in confusion, "Money?"

"Money… common currency… cash… dollars… bills-"

"We know what it is!" Marik said, "Uh… We just didn't know we needed it."

"You have to have some startup money. How do you expect to buy the things we need to even get Ishtar Industries off the ground? We're going to need to duplicate the Miniport… that's going to cost a lot!"

"Fine, we'll get the money!" Marik took Malik's hand and walked out the door. "Why doesn't anyone tell me these things!"

"Where are we going, Marik?" Malik asked.

"To get Pips' stupid money." They got out of the complex and stopped at the bus stop once again. This time they got on a different bus and traveled all the way across town.

The bus stopped and Marik and Malik got off in front of the extremely tall Kaiba Corp building. (The place where they met Pips, the night before!)

Marik was beginning to go in through the front door, but Malik stopped him, "Marik, what are we doing here?"

"You know, you notice things too much. Sit back and relax." He continued through the first floor and went inside the elevator.

The bland elevator music made Malik even more restless, so he asked the question that had been burning on his mind ever since they got off the bus, "… Are we here to see Kaiba?"

"Bingo, baby, that's exactly what we're here to do."

"Oh, Marik! We can't just go rushing to him every time we need money!"

"And why not?" The elevator door opened and they walked out, "Now, listen you." Marik turned to Malik, "When we're with Kaiba, don't go saying anything dumb. Like We need a lot of money so we can make our company better than yours."

"I won't…"

"'Kay." They walked across the hall to a large door that had Seto Kaiba written on the top. They knocked at the same time and two large guards came out.

"Who are you and what to you want?" One of them said, gruffly.

Marik put his hands on his hips, "I'm Marik and that's Malik. Tell Kaiba we're here to see him."

"Oh… it's you two." He rolled his eyes and put his head in the door. In a second he turned around, "He'll see you."

The doors were opened for them and they went right in. Kaiba was leaning against the desk, looking in their direction, "The only reason I let you in here is because if I didn't, you'd scratch at my door all day long."

"What? No hi, how are you?" Marik sat down in one of the chairs, "You could be a little nicer to us, Kaiba. We're your friends."

"Pheh."

Malik looked around at the walls, "Kaiba, did you get new wallpaper? This is gorgeous…!"

"Isn't it?" He grinned, "This office was done by Nancy Regan's decorator."

"Really! I was looking at a magazine yesterday and she-"

"Enough!" Marik glared at his hikari, "We're here on official business!"

Kaiba shifted, "I know why you're here. You aren't here for business, you're here for a welfare check. I'm not giving you any money."

"You don't even know what we need it for!"

"I don't need to know!"

Malik sighed, "I told you so."

"Silence, Malik." Marik stood up, "Kaiba, we're starting a company and we need startup money, that's why we came."

"Yeah, well I can't be-" Kaiba tilted his head, "Did you say you're starting a company? As in an organization?"

He nodded, "Ishtar Industries."

"…" Kaiba starred at him for a minute, then fell backwards, laughing and howling, "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Marik and Malik looked at each other in question and decided to wait till Kaiba was through with his little episode.

About thirty minutes passed and he was still rolling around on the floor, "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"All right, already!" Marik screamed, "It isn't that funny!"

"He he he… oh my…" Kaiba grabbed the side of the desk and stood up, "T-That was great… I haven't had such a good laugh in a long, long time…"

"…" Marik growled.

Kaiba smiled and pulled something out of his desk drawer, "That's so cute. You two want to start a wittle company?"

Marik was about to protest to Kaiba calling it 'wittle' but Malik stepped in first, "Um, Yes, we want to get it off the ground." 'Hmm.' Kaiba thought, 'This would be terribly funny, if I were to…'

"So, what's it gonna be, Kaiba?" Marik asked, impatiently, "We don't have all day, are you gonna give us some money or what?"

"…Hmm." Kaiba opened the small book he had put on his desk and began writing in it. When he was done, he ripped out the piece of paper and handed it to Marik. "Now go. Let me see what your cute, little company will do with this."

Marik looked at the check that was given to him, "Boom, that's what I'm talking about!" He turned for the door, "Let's go Malik. See ya, Kaiba, thanks for the start."

-

At Pips apartment, he was sitting where Marik and Malik had left him. On a chair, petting and stroking Rupert.

The front door's handle jiggled and Marik along with Malik came inside.

Pips looked at them and smiled, "Well, that took less time than I thought. Where did you go?"

"Kaiba's office," Malik said as he plopped onto the couch.

"Mr. Kaiba!" Pips dropped Rupert on the floor, "What business did you have there!"

"Take a look." Marik held out the check so that Pips could see it.

"…My goodness! A million dollars! T-That's spectacular… It's more than enough for what I have in mind. Come to think of it, Mr. Kaiba never gave me any money. Not even on payday." he shrugged, "Oh well, it's all good. We'll start the process tomorrow." 


	5. Demonstration

Something Corporate

Chapter 5:

Marik and Malik slept in late the next morning. Extremely late. Actually, when they woke up it wasn't even daytime anymore. They'd slept the entire day away without even realizing it and there little alarm happened to be Pips at their door.

"Marik? Malik? Open up, please, I have something to show you." Pips tried to knock as politely as possible but he'd been at the door for twenty minutes and was beginning to get annoyed.

In a minute, Malik opened the door and looked at him, "Pips, what are you doing here? It's early."

"It is exactly 7:20pm. The sun is no longer up and I've been working all day." Pips walked right passed Malik and inside the house. "Ooh, I love your place."

"… Thanks." Malik closed the door and thought, 'I don't remember telling him he could come inside…'

Pips had a big cardboard box in his arms and he set it down on the purple couch in front of him. He turned around and said, "Well, well, well… Can you guess what I have?"

"Chickenpox."

"What? Oh my, no." He laughed, "I can see you aren't that good of a guesser so I'll just come right out and say it… Hmm? Where's our dear friend, Marik?"

"Eh? Okay, I'll get him." Malik took a deep breath and shouted, "MARIK!"

Marik's footsteps could be heard on the second floor, clunking and shuffling around. He soon appeared at the foot of the stairs and looked at both Malik and Pips.

"Malik, did you let him in?"

"Don't look at me, he came in by himself."

Pips sat down next to his big box, "I'm so happy, I didn't think you sleepyheads would ever wake up. But now I get to tell you that the million dollars you got from Mr. Kaiba did the trick. We've gotten the Miniport patented and duplicated."

"Really!" They asked in amazement.

He nodded, "You both are lucky. You'd be in big trouble if it weren't for Mr. Kaiba. He's very reliable… when you need him, he's always right there."

"Uh… yeah. So, let us see the new Miniports, Pips, you brought them, didn't you?"

"Of course." Pips reached into the box next to him and pulled out a red Miniport. "They come in assorted colors."

"Wow!" They exclaimed in unison.

Pips continued, "I got three hundred to start with, then we can get more when we run out. We'll sell them on the internet to start with…"

Malik dug inside the box, "They're beautiful."

"I had special ones made for you, Marik and Malik. See?" Pips reached into his back pockets and pulled out a metallic-colored Miniport and a black one with bright red stars.

"Ooh!" Malik squealed and ran over to him, "The metallic one must be mine!"

He nodded, "That's right."

"How did you know that was my favorite color?"

"It's my job to know these things."

As Malik was putting his Miniport on his arm, Marik starred at the one that he was given. He shrugged and said, a bit disappointedly, "… Well, I suppose it's better than nothing. Okay, so-"

"But we can't sell them yet." Pips sat back down on the couch.

"Why not?" Marik asked.

"Well, we can't put an item on the market and we don't know about kinks or bugs. You have to prove to me that it's… not defective."

"…?" Marik and Malik tilted their heads.

"I need a demonstration."

"We told you what it does!"

"You told me what it's supposed to do. We've got to make sure. Just transport from here to the next room or something. That's not a lot to ask, right? You invented it, this should be fun for you."

"Eh heh…" Marik scratched his head and turned to Malik, "What are we gonna do? We don't know the first thing about how to work this!"

"We should've thought this through when we first took it. You didn't even ask that Elmer kid about it… you could have gotten a manual or something."

"Oh, yeah, Malik." Marik rolled his eyes, "Like I'm really going to ask for a manual for something that I'm about to steal!"

"Well, what do we do now, huh!"

"Ahem. Marik? Malik? Is everything okay?" Pips asked, still sitting down, "What's going on over there?"

"Uh, just a minute!" Marik turned around and grabbed his head, "Oh, what to do? What to do!"

"We'll just have to wing it, Marik. What choice do we have?"

"Heh. I don't wanna end up somewhere unknown. So, your gonna have to wing it, Malik." Marik pushed his hikari in front of him and said to Pips, "Malik's ready to give the demonstration."

Pips smiled, "Okay, have at it, Malik."

"Yeah, Malik." Marik sat down next to Pips and grinned, "Have at it."

"Uh… uh…!" He frowned, "Well, okay. Here goes nothing."

Malik lifted his right arm with the Miniport on it and looked at about five decorative buttons and a dial. He twisted the dial to the east and pressed two buttons, which he hoped wasn't the wrong number.

In an instant, Malik was gone. Marik and Pips looked around. "He did it. He really did it…"

"Malik!" Marik called out, "Where are you! Malik!"

"… Maybe he decided to go to McDonalds or something." Pips shrugged, "Is he playing a trick?"

"He can't play a trick… he doesn't know how…" Marik said to himself, "Malik!"

"Well, we certainly know that it works. That was absolutely beautiful, you must tell me how you both did such a magnificent thing, when Malik gets back."

Marik looked out the front door and called, "Malik! Are you out here?"

"Relax. I can't wait till he comes back, either, but we don't have to wait for him to start selling these babies. Where's your computer?"

"Upstairs… third door on your right." He sighed and followed Pips up the stairs.

-

Meanwhile, Malik had already reappeared again somewhere. At first he didn't realize that he'd gone anywhere until he opened his eyes and saw that Marik and Pips weren't sitting on the couch anymore.

'Okay… so, I guess it worked. Now where am I?' He looked around for a minute and saw a large desk, a few chairs and absolutely gorgeous wallpaper.

"Kaiba's office!" Malik said aloud. The shades were drawn and all the lights were off. He tiptoed to the door and peeked outside.

He could see Kaiba walking towards the room and Malik backed away, 'Oh no, he can't see me in here!' He hurried and ducked behind a big plant.

The door opened. Mokuba and Kaiba walked inside and turned on the lights. Kaiba sat at his desk as his brother turned on his laptop and said, "Hey, Seto, did you know there was an amount of money missing from our personal account?"

"Hmm? How much?"

"About a million dollars." He paused, "We didn't buy any shares of any other company this week… we shouldn't-"

"Oh! Don't worry, Mokuba, I know what the money was from."

"Seto…" Mokuba groaned, "Don't tell me you've tried to invest in antique coconut bras, again. I told you that's a scam. You shouldn't be into that kinda thing anyway, it's bad for your health."

"It isn't like that. I gave Marik and Malik a check for a million dollars to help them out."

"Marik and Malik! Those macadamia nuts? Why'd you help them again, they always cause trouble."

"I know, I know… but get this… they're starting a company of their own." He laughed, "It was so cute when they told me, I couldn't resist!"

"Cute. Yeah. Well…" Mokuba cleared his throat, "I don't think it's a good idea to give away money. Especially to those two. You know that they have a knack for turning perfectly normal things into awful disasters!"

"Well, this is my element. I mean, Marik can try to take over the world and play with his little millennium items as much as he wants, but I will always rule the business world."

Mokuba went into a drawer and pulled out a water bottle and began to spray the plants. He looked up, "We need everything to go smoothly for the next few months, Seto. Aren't you about to announce your latest product in December?"

"Sure am. Don't worry Mokuba. Marik and Malik won't get in the way of this. Nobody knows about it but you and me… and the guy I'm buying it from."

"Carter knew, didn't he? You gave him three prototypes and he lost them."

"He didn't know what it was though."

"Hmm." Mokuba finished watering most of the plants and turned around to water the last one. It just happened to be the one that Malik was hiding behind. Malik saw Mokuba coming at him and pushed a bunch of buttons on the Miniport.

'Hurry up!' He thought, "Please, hurry up-' Malik pressed the right button and was gone as Mokuba soaked the plant in cool water.

-

Back at Marik and Malik's house, Pips was having the time of his life on the computer. He was selling the Miniports on the internet and he didn't even have to put a price on them. He just waited for filthy rich people to bid and outbid each other till the money was so good that Pips passed out.

Marik took over, with his right hand on the keyboard and his left on Pips, trying to wake him up, he was having a heck of a time handling it all.

"Malik better be back soon." He grumbled.

Pips smiled and whispered in his sleep, "Money… money… money…"

Just then, there was a buzzing sound and Malik appeared in the middle of the room. He looked around then said, "H-Hi, Marik."

Marik stood up, "Finally! Where have you been? Do you know how long I had to stay here with Pips, while he was yelling and howling!"

"Huh?"

"Never mind. We sold one hundred Miniports while you were gone."

"Really? How much did you make?"

"According to the numbers on the screen, we're killing everything else and we're past thirty million. That's a pretty big jump."

"Thirty million? Wow." Malik thought a minute, "Hey, we could get those blue shoes that I've always wanted!"

"Shoes? Malik, we have to think strategically. Shoes are too much for right now."

"But! But! But!"

Marik sighed, "When Pips gains conciseness again, we'll decide what to do next. But we need to sell the rest of these first." He pointed to the box full of Miniports.

"Then we can get my shoes?"

"Baby steps, Malik, baby steps." 


	6. Mediocre sales force

Something Corporate

Chapter 6:

The next week went by as well as could be expected with a kick-butt product like the Miniport. Pips was selling and ordering and Marik and Malik were watching and learning. They'd sold so many Miniports in one week that they decided to start hiring people to help them out.

At first, Marik wasn't too happy about bringing other people into this. But then Pips told him that if he wanted Ishtar Industries to be better than Kaiba Corp, he was gonna have to have a bigger corporation.

That sent Marik into work mode. So, they put up want ads all over the internet and the local newspaper. Pips told them that they were gonna have to interview these people if they wanted good workers and not just bums off the street.

"Everyone should be here any minute." Pips said, looking out the window, "Actually, we have a great deal of people right now."

"Let's get this over with, already. I've got a shuffleboard game in a couple of hours." Marik was sitting on the couch with Malik.

"This is so exciting! We get to actually hire people."

"And we get to fire them, too." Marik added, "I can't wait to fire a thousand of them! It'll be so much fun."

"Be careful. You fire everyone, Marik, and you'll have no workers." Pips walked over to the door, "Are we ready?"

Marik and Malik nodded.

"Okay!" He opened the door and called out, "First applicant, please."

When Pips walked back into the living room, he was accompanied by a young lady with light blonde hair and way too much lipstick. "Hello," she said as she sat down in the chair across from Pips, Marik, and Malik.

"Hi." Malik waved, "So, tell us a little about yourself."

"Well, my name is Sheba O'Leary. And I've just been released from the penitentiary in South Domino. I'd been there since I was fifteen."

"P-Penitentiary…?" Pips tilted his head.

"Oh, yes." She smiled, "When I was fifteen, I hacked up my entire family in their sleep with a hammer. My mom, my dad, and my twin brothers. I was in the pen for five years. They kicked me out last week because they had to make room for some new people."

"…" they starred at her. Then Marik whispered to Malik and Pips, "I say we give her a shot."

"Marik!" Malik frowned, "This girl just told us she murdered her entire family with a hammer! In their sleep!"

Pips stood up and opened the door, "I'm sorry, Ms. O' Leary, but you're not exactly what we're looking for. Have a nice day."

She sighed and slowly walked out the door. Pips called out, "Next, please."

This time a young man came in and sat down on the chair. As Pips sat back down on the couch, they all noticed that the man who just walked in was covered from head to toe in dirt.

"Heya. I'm Burt." He said, rubbing dirt into the nice clean chair, "What's up?"

"Oh, my beautiful chair!" Malik cried, "It's dirty!"

Pips patted Malik on the back, "There, there. It'll be alright. Stay strong."

Marik rolled his eyes and looked at the dirty young man, "So… tell us about yourself."

"I'm really in need of a job, man, I've been living with my uncle's pigs for the last year or so and I need to get my life together."

There was a moment of silence. Then, all at once, Marik, Malik, and Pips grabbed their noses with both their hands. "What's that smell!" they all looked around in question.

Burt smiled, "Oh, that's just my natural smell. When you hang out with pigs all day, they're habits, lifestyles, and smells rub off on you."

Malik fainted.

This time Marik let out the rejected applicant and let another one in. Another woman. She had no visible faults and she didn't look like a crazy murderer.

"Hello. My name is Miki Murakami. I'll go ahead and tell you a little about myself. Well, I graduated from the southern Domino Community college about five years ago. I spent six years there, taking premed classes, learning to become a surgeon. Then, after spending two years doing that, I decided to become a novelist. I completed my first book," She handed Marik a fifty pound book, "'Time to Change.' then, I took a break and became a part-time actress over seas. Part time, because I was taking another college course to get a degree in law. After that, I-"

"Egads!" Marik exclaimed, "You said you'd tell us a little about yourself! That's a lot. You did all that in five years!"

"If you don't believe me, here's my résumé and various recommendations from past professors and employers." She handed Marik a gigantic stack of papers.

"…" Marik turned to Pips, who was trying to revive Malik, "Well, what do you think? Is she good?"

"Oh," He looked at all the papers that Marik dumped on the floor, "She looks extremely qualified."

"What position are you applying for?"

"Assistant to the CEOs of Ishtar Industries." She stated firmly.

"W-What?" Pips stood up and looked at her, "That job's not open!"

Marik eyed him, "Calm down, Pips, you just said that she was extremely qualified. No one is gonna take your-"

Before Marik could get another word out, Pips grabbed Miki by her hair and threw her out of the front door. Then he took her résumé and her book and tossed them out after her. He slammed the door and turned around.

"Jeez, Pips…" Marik starred at him, "That was awesome."

"Nobody's taking my new job or my new friends away from me!"

"Rock on."

The rest of the afternoon went on much like the first three. They had murderers, overachievers, and drag queens walk around in through their door. It was about five in the evening and there were still a lot of people lined up outside their door, waiting.

By this time, Malik had regained consciousness and was back, interviewing along with his yami and Pips.

"You guys, I don't think were gonna find anyone good." Malik said, "These people are strangely off balance and disturbing."

Marik nodded, "I never knew we lived in a city full of this many basket cases."

"Should we keep searching?"

"Yeah, why not. I mean, there's gotta be someone who can do a good job."

Pips opened the door and called, "Next, please!" When he came back into the living room, Bakura was following him and sat down on the chair. "Hey, guys."

"Bakura!" Marik and Malik smiled, "Man, are we glad that you're here! You're totally hired!"

He tilted his head, "Hired? For what?"

"… Um, dude," Marik starred at him, "Didn't you notice that big line outside? We're hiring workers for Ishtar Industries."

"So that's what that line is for. I just thought you guys installed a Churro machine and people were lining up to get one. I just came here to pick up Marik so we could go to our shuffleboard game."

"Huh…? Wait, that's this hour? I totally forgot about it!" Marik stood up and put on his jacket, "C'mon, let's go."

"M-Marik…!" Malik called out.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. Pips can help you handle anything, right Pips?"

"Yes, sir! Marik, sir!" He saluted, "I won't let you down!"

"There we go."

Bakura walked with him to the door and as they opened it, Ryou fell into the house. "Woo. I made it through that god awful line. Their getting really rowdy out there." He looked up, "Oh, hello, Marik."

"Hey, Ryou." Marik called back to Malik and Pips, "Take care of everything you guys, we'll be back once we're done."

They walked outside and, once they broke through the crowd, they reached the driveway.

"Bakura, we're gonna have to take your car." Marik said.

"Why?"

"Either that or we're walking, 'cause I am not taking the damn bus again."

So, they took Bakura's Mercedes and rode out to the senior citizen bingo hall. They had a match set up for them to go against the raining champions of shuffleboard. Gertrude Jiggins and her husband, Walter.

When Marik and Bakura showed up, the audience was setup and their opponents were waiting for them by the court.

"It's about time you showed up," Gertrude put her teeth back in her mouth, "I was beginning to think you chickened out."

"We never chicken out!" Marik said, "You old geezers are going down!"

"That's right." Bakura nodded.

"Aw, shut up and get ta playin'!" Walter shoved the playing sticks into Marik and Bakura's hands. He and his wife went to their side of the court and Bakura and Marik took theirs.

"We're going to 75, this time. Losers first!" Gertrude called out.

Bakura threw down the red puck and pushed it as far as he could. Then it was Walter's turn. He was sizing up the shot and took forever.

"So, what were you saying before about Ishtar Industries?" Bakura asked, "You said you were hiring… workers?"

"A sales force. It wasn't my idea, but Pips says it's the best way to handle a large company."

"Kaiba's gonna flip when he finds out. You know that, right?"

"Eh, he already knows. He's the one that gave us the startup money for the duplication of our product. But he doesn't know that we mean business. He called us wittle, for Ra's sake!"

"Hey, sissies!" Gertrude yelled at them, "Get your head in the game! It's your turn!"

Marik pushed the red puck pretty far and landed on the thirty mark. "Ha! Beat that, ya old hag!"

Gertrude was fanning herself, "Damn these hot flashes…!"

"As I was gonna say," Marik turned to Bakura, "We've been interviewing nuts all day long and they've all been useless. So, ya mind helping us out?"

"Sure. I don't have anything to do. Ryou's been bugging me to get a job anyway and he needs something to do, too."

"Nice. I'm sure that Pips won't mind if you-"

"Woo!" Marik and Bakura heard a yelp from the other side of the court. They looked over and Walter had hit the fifty mark.

"How'd they do that!" Marik and Bakura starred at them in amazement.

"We won." Walter and Gertrude walked over to them and stuck their wrinkled, old hands out, "Pay up."

"Ugh…" They groaned and moaned but paid each of them twenty-five dollars. "I swear, they're cheating somehow!"

"Knock it off, ya sore losers." Gertrude turned to her husband, "We've hit the jackpot, Walter, baby! Do you know how much prune juice we can get with this at the Piggly Wiggly!"

"I'll never be constipated again!" He cheered.

"…Ew, let's get out of here." Marik turned towards the car, "We've got more important things to worry about anyway."

"Yeah."

Gertrude called at them before they left, "See ya next week, losers! It'll be our pleasure to take your cash! Again!" 


	7. Moving on up

Something Corporate

Chapter 7:

When Marik and Bakura got back from their game, they found that Pips, Ryou and Malik had hired a bunch of people actually worthy of their time. It was only about a hundred or so, but it was better than nothing. So, Marik and Malik had the base of their sales force and congratulated all of them on being hired.

Both Bakura and Ryou were given special positions at Ishtar Industries. Pips had totally objected to the job that Marik wanted to give Bakura, which was the assistant. Once everything was decided, Bakura was given the position of Receptionist/ Secretary. And as for Ryou… he was the Mascot.

Of course, they couldn't handle all these people inside their house. So, they had to get a headquarters somewhere else. It just so happened that there was a building across town that was perfect. Pips bought it and they moved right on in.

"Oh, this is so wonderful!" Malik exclaimed when all the moving was done, "This place has a nice vibe."

"Yes, yes. This is a very nice building, and you'll be right across town from the Kaiba Corp headquarters." Pips looked out the window, "As a matter-of-fact… I think your office is in the same place as Mr. Kaiba's."

Marik nodded and whipped out a telescope, "Exactly. Now, I can see what the competition is doing!"

"Oh, Marik, give the guy some privacy! I mean, goodness, if he finds out you're spying on him, he'll have a fit."

"Kaiba always has fits. I might as well give him a reason to whine and moan."

Marik and Malik's office was the one that they were standing in. They decided it would be more fun if they shared the same room. But Malik's side was a bit more decorative. He had big plants surrounding his desk, a birdbath on his side of the window, and leopard print wallpaper.

"Malik, couldn't you have decorated your side… better?" Marik asked.

"What do you mean? This is the pinnacle of fashion."

"It's disturbing."

"It's fabulous."

"Hey guys," Bakura came into the office, dressed up in a dark blue business suit and smiling, "Don't I look spiffy? Pips got me this. He said all the leather just wasn't professional. I don't know why, though… leather is all Kaiba wears."

Marik snorted, "Pips has the right idea! There'll be no Kaiba-conformity at Ishtar Industries! Not while I'm alive."

"Anyway, my office rocks! It has videogames." Bakura pointed towards the door, "And you should see Ryou. He looks awesome."

"Marik!" Ryou ran into the office, "Marik! Marik! Marik!"

He turned around, "What is it- Ooh! Ryou, you got the costume! Wow… you look good."

"I do not!" Since Ryou was the official Mascot of Ishtar Industries, and Marik was the official president of Ishtar Industries… Marik thought it would be cool to have Ryou wearing a Marik costume. With the hair and everything. The only part of Ryou you could see was his face, deep inside the mouth of the costume. "I look awful!"

"What're you complaining about, Ryou? It's very… becoming." Malik stifled his laughs and giggles.

He turned to his yami, "Bakura, you all get business suits and I get stuck in this!"

"Hey!" Pips pouted, "Do you know how hard it was for me to knit that in such a short amount of time! I had to use a picture of Marik for a model, because the real one was busy."

Ryou tried to scratch his body, but he was entirely covered in Marik, "But it itches! It itches!"

"Well, of course, it itches. Halfway through it, I ran out of wool. So, I used eyebrows and eyelashes as substitutes."

"Oh, dear, can't I take it off!"

Marik shook his head, "Sorry, Ryou. But if we have to be seen in public, we have to have our Mascot with us. You have to wear it 24/7."

"Oh, woe is me!"

-

Meanwhile, across town, at the Kaiba Corporation headquarters, Kaiba had been working for a while but then he noticed something out the window and decided to check it out.

He took out his trusty telescope and looked on the other side of town at the tall building, directly across from his. It'd been empty for about two years and all of a sudden, there were people going in and out.

The thing that he found most interesting was the amount of people in the front room on one of the top floors. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something familiar about them…

"Marik? Malik?" Kaiba said aloud, doing a double take, "It can't be!"

"Seto, will you stop being such a peeping tom? What people do behind closed doors is their own business. You are just too nosy." Mokuba was sitting in his brother's chair, working on the computer. "Remember what happened last time?"

"Those charges were dropped!" He continued to peep through the blinds, "And anyway, I think Marik and Malik have taken over that building over there."

"Well, you said they were starting a large company, right? They can't do that at home."

"I-I didn't know they'd actually take it this far. I thought they'd just sell a little cocaine on the side then it'd be over. Hmm…"

"Oh?" Mokuba turned around to look at his brother, "I see what's going on here."

"What? What!"

He grinned, "You're all nervous, now, aren't ya, Seto?"

"I'm not nervous! I'm just suspicious. I mean, they haven't even made their product known to the public. But they must be selling it somehow. Oh well. I'm sure it's stupid… like mechanical sandwiches or something."

"Don't jinx yourself. Mechanical sandwiches could be the next big thing."

"Ha. That'll be the day." He put the telescope away and leaned on the side of the desk, "If Marik and Malik ever actually come up with something useful, I'll run over to them and become their janitor."

-

"Okay, everyone, I have an announcement to make!" Pips stood in the middle of Marik and Malik's office while everyone that surrounded him was chattering and giggling.

But once they looked at him, the talking died down, "Good. Well, as you all know, we've been selling the Miniport through the Blackmarket website for the past month or so. But now that we have an actual window to the world, so to speak, I think it's high time that we introduced the Miniport into the mainstream."

Everybody cheered and smiled.

"Is that alright with you?" He looked at Marik and Malik.

"Sure." Marik nodded, "Whatever makes us better than Kaiba Corp."

"We'll be the biggest corporation ever!" Malik added. "… I wonder if Kaiba's even seen our product. We should give him one."

"What! Why?"

"Well, he was the one who gave us the startup money. Without him, none of this would be possible. Shouldn't we thank him?"

Marik sat at his desk, "We'll thank him by letting him see that we're seriously after his reputation. Don't forget why we did this in the first place, Malik. We're proving to the world that no one is smarter than us."

There were chuckles and stifled laughs in the room.

Marik glared at them, "And what, pray tell, is so funny!"

"S-Sorry sir." They apologized, "We thought you were making a joke."

Pips walked over to Marik and motioned for Malik to join him, "Okay, guys, since we're going to have to package the Miniports and ship them around the world in order to sell them, there's one more thing we'll need."

"Which is?"

"Just like any other product out there, ours will have to come with a guide."

They looked at each other, "… Guide?"

"A manual, you know. To tell them how to use it." Pips sighed, "And you two are the only ones that know how to use it."

"Oh, Ra, why!" Marik screamed. "Why me!"

"Alright, everyone, out you go." he scooted the other people out of the room and closed the door behind himself.

Marik slapped his forehead, "What do we do now?"

Malik scratched his head, "We knew we'd have to figure out how to do this someday. I mean, you can't expect someone to open their new Miniport and automatically know how to use it."

"I know." He tapped his chin with his index finger, "… You'll have to do most of it, though. You've had the most experience with it. I mean, you transported from Kaiba's office and back, right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't know what I was doing. I just got lucky."

He took out a piece of paper and a pen from his desk, "Okay, Malik, just explain to me what you did. And we'll… map it out."

"Well…"

When Malik had explained everything to Marik, he didn't really understand. So they used Malik's Miniport and fiddled with it for a while. After six hours and thirty minutes of painstaking note taking and trying to take it apart, they wanted to give up. And of course, Marik got electrified before they actually stopped (typical). They still didn't have the necessary notes for a manual.

So, they decided to ask the Miniport's actual creator. Elmer Fizz. They looked him up in the phonebook and dialed his number.

"Remember, Malik," Marik whispered as his hikari was waiting for the ringing to stop, "Disguise your voice. He might remember you."

Malik nodded and someone picked up the phone, "Hello?" They asked.

"Um, yes." He lowered his voice, so he sounded like a lumberjack, "Is this Mr. Elmer Fizz on the line?"

"It is. Who is this?"

"Um! I-It's… Mike Tyson. You've just… won a contest!"

"Oh, really!" Elmer was obviously excited.

"Yes. You just have to answer a few questions and-"

"What's the prize?"

"…Huh?"

"The prize, if I answer the question correctly, what is it?"

Malik had to think quickly, "Y-You get a… date! With me!"

"Ooh. Okay, I'm game. Give me the question, Mr. Tyson."

"Tell me everything you know about how to operate your latest invention, the Miniport." Malik had to add, "The Miniport that I know nothing about!"

"Whoop. Man, that's a toughie…" But when Elmer did answer, Malik put him on speakerphone and Marik wrote it all down. They hung up on him when he asked: When's our date, Mike? Can I call you Mike?

When the manual was all written, it was around midnight or a little after. Before Marik and Malik went home, they stopped off at Pip's apartment and handed him the manual. Pips made them say goodnight to Rupert, then they toddled on home. 


	8. The truth

Something Corporate

Chapter 8:

It was about a month later. December first to be exact. The day that Kaiba was going to introduce his latest product. Of course, when he saw what Marik and Malik's company was producing, he almost keeled over.

"What in hell's name is that?" Kaiba exclaimed, looking at the Domino Times (a local newspaper). He and his brother were inside his office. His brother was on his laptop, playing solitaire.

Mokuba looked up, "I think it's a newspaper, Seto."

"I know that! I mean, what is THIS!" He tore out the front page and shoved it into Mokuba's small hands.

He looked at it, "A Miniport…? Wait, Seto, isn't that…"

"That's right! The Miniport was what I brought from Elmer Fizz!"

-

"Wow, Malik, look at that." Across town, Marik, Malik, and Pips were looking at the exact same newspaper. The Miniport was on the front page along with their pictures. Ishtar Industries had been getting major attention from every major country in the world.

They had been on interviews all week, since they shipped out the Miniports all over the world. Tons of money was practically flying into their pockets from everywhere. They were getting offers from all the biggest companies. The only one that didn't send an offer for a partnership was… Kaiba Corp.

"I bet he's so mad, right now." Malik giggled, "He was probably thinking we were going to come out with something silly… like mechanical sandwiches."

Pips nodded in agreement, "Oh, yes. If I know Mr. Kaiba, he'll be steaming right now. He was about to announce his new project, this month."

"By the way, Pips, what was his project? You had prototypes, didn't you?"

"Three, in fact. But Mr. Kaiba never told me exactly what they were. He was always afraid that I'd spill the beans to somebody else."

"So, you never knew what it was?"

"Nope. He just gave it to me for safekeeping. It was strange, though. The first prototype looked a lot like a watch. So did the second. I don't remember the third one. It was so long ago."

"Oh." Marik and Malik turned their attention back to the newspaper.

"But." Pips continued, "I do remember overhearing Mr. Kaiba telling his brother who he bought it from. Someone named… Fizz."

They dropped the paper and looked at him, "F-Fizz? Did you say Fizz!"

"Oh well," Pips headed for the door, "It's too bad Mr. Kaiba fired me. I would've loved to help out with his new product. But, you two are more fun… so, no regrets here."

He walked out and shut the door behind him.

Malik turned to his yami, "Could there possibly be another Fizz?"

"Get serious, Malik, how common can a last name like that be? It's him, I just know it!" Marik plopped down in his chair, "What are we gonna do?"

"M-Maybe Kaiba wont notice."

He looked up, "Won't notice! How can he not notice, we've been in every newspaper and on every station since the beginning of the week! Scientists and government officials have been hassling us to talk to them! Chances are he's already heard about it."

"…What do ya think he'll do to… us?"

"Probably chop us up into little pieces and eat 'em."

"Oh Ra…" Malik felt his forehead, "I'm feeling faint."

"Okay!" Marik rose from his seat, "There's only one thing we can do in a time like this!"

"You mean tell Kaiba about how we stole the Miniport from Elmer and let him have it back before he totally destroys us?"

"I mean extra security!" Marik pressed a button on the phone, "Bakura, I need you to do something for me."

"Heya, Marik, what's up?" he asked.

"We're in a bit of a sticky spot. I need you to beef up security around the building and especially our house. Got it?"

"A bunch of strong, bald, scary-looking men coming right up, boss man!"

"Thanks." He pressed another button and turned to his hikari, "See? Not a thing in the world to worry about now." -

Meanwhile, back at the Kaiba Corporation headquarters, Kaiba was boiling over with fury. He was yelling at every employee he had to get Mr. Elmer Fizz into his office in the next five seconds or they'd all be fired.

"You all don't think I mean it, do you? Fine. 5 ... 4…3 ... 2-" Kaiba's counting was stopped as the door flung open and two guards pushed a boy inside.

"Here is Mr. Fizz." They said as they left the two alone in Kaiba's office.

When the doors shut, Elmer looked at Kaiba and smiled nervously, "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…! Hey there. How's my favorite CEO?"

"Shove it." He walked over to a shivering, knee-knocking Elmer, "You know why I sent for you, right?"

"Ha ha… oh, yeah. I know, alright." He took a step back.

"Good. Then you must also know that I'm pissed of beyond belief, because you sold the Miniport to those nincompoops! Whatever they paid I could've paid four times that amount and you know it!"

"No, no, no, nooooooooooo! It isn't like that at all, Kaiba, believe me!"

Kaiba leaned back on the side of his desk and folded his arms, "…You have one minute to explain."

Elmer nodded, "Ah, yes! Of course. You see, Marik and Malik, as you called them on the phone, stole it from me! At the science fair about a month and a half ago. They came in and-"

"You mean Marik and Malik robbed you? In a public place?" 

"Yes. I'm saddened and dismayed to repeat it… yes."

"How could that have happened! You took a self-defense class!"

"But Kaiba!" Elmer pouted, "They only taught us how to defend ourselves against chipmunks! Not crazed, Miniport-stealing, loonies!"

"… Chipmunks? " Kaiba stared at the boy in front of him, "… You know what? I think you're crazy. To let those two steal something from you in a public place surrounded by police and staff is beyond crazy!"

"What should we do, Kaiba?"

He turned towards the window and looked out to the other side of town, at the Ishtar Industries headquarters. "Hmm."

"Kaiba? He he he he he he he… K-Kaiba?"

"Marik… you're not getting away that easily. You think you've beat me, right? Wrong. There's no way I'll let you take away my company's good name. There's no way you'll beat me. Not in this game."

"Um…" Elmer backed up to the door, 'Maybe I should leave…'

"Mokuba!" Kaiba yelled with his back still facing Elmer.

"Yes?" Mokuba's head popped out from the side door by the large plant, "What is it, big brother?"

"… Tyler Ivory just got out of jail a little while ago, didn't he?"

"Yeah. About a month ago."

"Call him. Tell him that I want to see him for something…" Kaiba turned around, "Okay?"

"Tyler…? Wait a minute, Seto! This is going a little far, don't you think?"

"Huh?" Elmer looked from Mokuba to Kaiba and then back to Mokuba, "What's going on?"

Kaiba starred at him, "I'm going to get the Miniport back. Actually, someone else is going to get it back for us. I think Tyler will do a good job, considering…" He let the sentence fall. 


	9. The whole truth

Something Corporate

Chapter 9:

Marik and Malik's picture was on the screen of the T.V, "Well, they've certainly been getting a lot of attention, haven't they?"

"Yes, Jen, I think just about everyone who can afford a Miniport, has one." the man answered, "I've gotten one last week, and I sold my car."

"So did I. But I had to give it away because no one would buy it. The hobo that used to live on Richmond Dr now lives inside my old car."

"Oh, that was nice of you."

"Wasn't it?" She turned towards the camera, "Stay tuned for the weather."

Pips shut off the television and sighed, "Well, I think we're getting more attention than we can possibly handle. But it's good."

He got up off the couch and went into the bathroom to take a bath with his favorite puppy, Rupert. When Pips was asking Rupert to wash his back, the doorbell rang. Ding-dong.

He put the dog on the toilet seat (so he wouldn't drown), wrapped a towel around himself and went to the front door of the small apartment.

"Who is it?" Pips asked with his head against the door.

"Pizza delivery." Said the voice from the other side.

Pips looked back, towards the hallway, "Aw, Rupert, did you order pizza? That was nice of you."

"…" There was no answer from Rupert (duh.)

He opened the front door, "Hi."

There was a strange man at the door, who wasn't wearing a Pizza Hut or Papa John's uniform. "You are Pips?" said the gruff looking young man.

"Yes. Where's the pizza?"

The man walked in and grabbed Pips by the shoulders and pushed him into the living room, locking the door behind him. Pips screamed as he bounced off the floor and hit his head on the side of the couch. He starred up at the man who was looking around the living room, under and behind things.

"Who else is in here?" He demanded.

Pips closed his eyes and turned away, "No, I'll never let you take him!" He yelled towards the open bathroom door, "Run, Rupert! Run!"

The man walked into the bathroom and saw nothing but a dead dog sitting on the toilet seat. He rolled his eyes and muttered, "Nut."

"Get out of there!" Pips ran after him but the man pushed him back down on the couch in the living room.

"I've just come to deliver a message… this time. For starters, let me just say that I don't have anything against you, personally, but it's my 'employer'."

"Hmm?" Pips tilted his head, "W-Who is it?"

A piece of paper was thrown in Pips' face. "Here." the man said, "If I have to come back here again, I won't be as gentle." he opened the front door and walked out.

In a second, he came back in with a pizza box in hand. He gave it to Pips, "I think this is the pizza your dog ordered. You owe me 13.50."

When the door was finally shut and Pips was sure he was gone, he went into the bathroom, picked Rupert up and sat him down on the couch. Pips opened the note and read aloud to Rupert, "Carter, you shouldn't have betrayed me by going along with Marik and Malik's little scam. I almost can't believe you would go along with stealing someone's product. It's a disgusting act and if you don't come out and admit you stole the Miniport, we'll admit it. Signed, CEO of Kaiba Corporation."

After Pips went over it once more, he sat back and sighed, "Steal? The… Miniport? What could that mean? Marik and Malik invented the Miniport… Oh. What do you think, Rupert?"

Rupert said nothing, "…"

"No, it couldn't be. You don't think…?"

"…"

"Oh my, no! I must clear this up immediately! First thing!" He looked down at the pizza box on the floor, "Um, well, I suppose we could have pizza first. After all, you did pay for it, right Rupert?"

"…"

-

The next morning, at Kaiba Corporation headquarters, Kaiba was in his office. His brother had just left for a moment to go down stairs and get Kaiba a snow cone from the lobby. Meanwhile, Kaiba was wallowing in self-pity and making a pros and cons list.

"Okay," He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, "I'll just think about my options with a pros and cons list… that should help clear things up."

Kaiba started writing, "Let's see… If I expose Marik and Malik's little scam they tried to pull on me, the pro side is that they'll be put out of business. The con is that then the public will know that I never invented the Miniport, and that wouldn't be too good…"

He bit his pen for a minute and thought of something, "Another pro is that I'll probably be able to hire Carter back… (Mokuba hasn't been a very good assistant. He's always hassling me about my dirty clothes.)"

"Seto!" Mokuba opened the door with a Styrofoam cup, full of colored ice in his hand, "Seto, I-"

Kaiba almost fell over, "Hey, hey! We knock around here, little boy!"

"Sorry. Listen, I got the snow cone you wanted." He handed the snow cone to his brother.

Kaiba starred at it, "Mokuba, don't joke with me, I'm not dumb."

"What?"

"This snow cone is yellow."

"…"

"Mokuba!"

"Seto, don't be ridiculous! It's lemon-flavored!"

"Oh." He sighed and when Mokuba turned around, he threw it out the window. "Mokuba, I'm making a pros and cons list. What do you think?"

"Hmm?" Mokuba took the piece of paper and looked at it, "Well, Seto, what are you going to do? And what the hell do you mean by saying that I'm not a good assistant? I work very hard!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, but Carter had that special something."

"You fired him!"

"What, geniuses can't make mistakes? Besides, he was getting a little annoying. What with him talking about his damn dog all the time, I couldn't concentrate… Hey, have you ever even seen his dog?"

"Ooh, yes. He brought Rupert in on 'Bring Your Dog to Work Day', two years ago. After half the faculty left sick, he didn't bring him again."

"… I-" Suddenly the office door opened and Pips walked in. He stood in the middle of the room and was about to start talking, when Kaiba shouted, "What is up with no one knocking today!"

"Mr. Kaiba, I need to speak to you!" Pips began, "I'm sorry that I came unannounced but I received your letter yesterday… which, by the way, was kind of mean to send such a scary man to deliver it. And at what a inopportune time, too. Me and Rupert were taking a bath."

"…" Kaiba looked at Mokuba, then back to Pips, "Um… I'm going to ignore that last comment, Carter. But I wanted to send Taylor so that he would get the message across."

"Taylor…? Taylor Ivory, right?" Pips thought, "Hey! He was on the radio last week, right? Didn't he serve time for… um, murdering an entire pet shop?"

"Yep. He's worked for me before, when I needed to buy the last portion of Microsoft. He was quite effective on Bill Gates, so I thought: Why not try him out on Carter."

"Oh, dear. Well, I came here to clear up what you said in the letter. What did you mean by saying that Marik and Malik stole the Miniport? They invented it themselves, sir."

"…" Kaiba and Mokuba starred at him, then busted out in laughter, "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Oh my…"

When the elder Kaiba had gained a little control of himself, he pushed a button on his desk and said, "He he he…

Please send in… Mr. Fizz, Ah ha ha ha ha ha!"

The door opened once again and Elmer Fizz walked in. He looked at Pips and said, "So, you're the one that bailed on Kaiba Corp and went to Marik?"

"I didn't bail anywhere! I was fired! And then Marik hired me!"

"Yeah, sure. So, did Marik tell you about the Miniport? The invention that I made? Or did they tell you that they created it?"

"… You invented the Miniport?" Pips looked at him, "But Marik said that he and Malik…"

"You believed them? Oh he ha he ha he ha he ha heeee! You're too trusting. They stole it from me at the science fair about two months ago."

"I originally bought the Miniport from Fizz, way back when you were still working for me, Carter." Kaiba leaned back in his chair, "You know the three prototypes that you lost? Those were early versions of the Miniport."

"Huh? I-I thought that was something else!" He turned back to Elmer, "So this is the guy you got it from! But… wait, there's still something that doesn't make sense! Look!" Pips whipped out a little pamphlet from his back pocket, "See? That's the instruction guide that Marik and Malik put together."

Elmer took it and flipped through, "This… this is all correct…"

"So, how could Marik have stolen the Miniport when he knows all about it?"

"He's right, something doesn't fit. I never explained all this to Marik and Malik… at least not in terms that they could understand…" Elmer thought for a minute, "Wait! The phone call!"

"What call?" Kaiba and Pips asked at once.

"The one from Mike Tyson."

"What!"

"He called and told me about some kind of contest that I won, a month ago… at least, that's what he told me. He called and said that I'd won a date with him, but in order to get it, I had to answer a question."

"Oh Ra." Kaiba groaned, "Elmer, what kind of question?"

"I had to tell him everything I knew about how to operate the Miniport. And the more I think about… the more I think it was Marik and Malik!"

"…" Kaiba slammed his head on the desk, repeatedly, "I'm surrounded by idiots! Idiots! Idiots! Oh waa!" He began to cry frantically, "Ah ohhhhh…!"

"It's okay, Seto…" Mokuba rolled his eyes and turned to Pips, while his brother tried to pull himself together, "Okay, Carter, this is what we need you to do-"

"Yes, sir!" Pips fell to his knees and kissed Mokuba's tennis shoes, "I'm so sorry, Mr. Mokuba! I've shamed the Kaiba Corporation name! Of course, I will quit Ishtar Industries and come back here!"

"But Carter-"

"I know, I know! You have no use for a traitor like me! But maybe… maybe I'll make myself useful as a door mat! Please, sir, step on my undeserving body!" Pips sprawled out on the floor and howled, "Woooooooo-ah-hooooooooo! Hooooooooo!"

"Oh, Carter." Mokuba looked down at him and then over at his brother who was bawling like a baby. He carefully stepped over Pips and over to Elmer, "Listen, can you do me a big favor?"

He shrugged, "Sure."

"Take Carter home. When you get there, calm him down and tell him to stay with Marik and Malik's corporation and tell him to pretend none of this ever happened. I'd send someone else to do it, but you seem pretty capable. Meanwhile, I'll take Seto to his therapist."

"Okay." Elmer walked over and picked up Pips, "Let's get going, big guy. See ya, Mokuba."

"Bye. I'll call you when Seto's feeling better and we can go from there."

Elmer nodded and went out the door with Pips, who was reaching out to Mokuba, still howling uncontrollably. 


	10. Problems

Something Corporate

Chapter 10:

"In other news, the stock market has taken a turn for the worse since the Miniport made it's worldwide appearance about three weeks ago. People have been selling there cars, more or less giving them away-"

"Like I did last week."

"Yes, Jack, you told me…" She rolled her eyes, "Anyway, gas prices have gone way down in an attempt to get the public back to using cars-"

"I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon."

"Okay, Jack. That's enough!" She growled, then turned back to the camera, "Most of the popular car companies like Kia, Toyota, and Pontiac have been frantically lowering there prices, becoming bankrupt-"

"Wouldn't want to be in their shoes."

"Jack!"

Marik turned off the T.V and turned to his hikari, "Well, that was interesting."

"Interesting? Marik, didn't you hear what that woman said? The stock market is tipping over! The economy is in serious trouble."

"Oh, please. Malik, you can't believe everything you hear on T.V. They just say those things to make their ratings go up."

"But that was a news channel!"

"And news channels don't lie? You really need to stop being so trusting, Malik, it's bad for your health."

There was a knock at the door to their office. A voice from outside called in, "Marik! Malik! Let me in there!"

"Password." Marik said.

"Marik, it's me! Ryou!" He pounded on the door, "Marik!"

"I'm sorry, Ryou, but I don't know if that's really you. It could be anyone out there. A dragon, a lawyer… or Michael Jackson. Password!"

"Marik, don't make me say it!" He whined, "Please!"

Malik groaned, "Just let him in."

"Password."

"Oh, all right…" A sighed was heard from out the door, "Ricky-dickey's tinky-winky!"

"Whar har har har har har har har har har har har har har!" Marik fell back in his chair, "I love hearing that!"

Malik rolled his eyes and opened the door for poor Ryou, who was standing in the hallway with his Marik suit on and the visible part of his face was red with embarrassment, "Can I come in now…?"

"Yes, of course." Malik lead Ryou into the room and ignored his yami, who was rolling on the floor with laughter, "What is it that you need, Ryou?"

"Well, I was wondering if I could take the Marik costume off…"

"What?" Marik sat up, though he was still on the floor, "Why would you want to do that? You know you're the Mascot of Ishtar Industries."

"But Marik-"

"Nope. Simply out of the question."

"For Ra's sake, just hear him out!" Malik protested, "Sheesh!"

"As I was saying, Marik, I'm going to have to take the suit off for a while. I mean, I've been wearing this forever! Okay, so maybe it's been more like two months… but it seems like forever! I haven't taken a bath in two months!"

"…Eww. Really?"

"Yes. Because you said I couldn't take it off… ever. I smell so awful, my own yami wont come within two feet of me. Bakura thinks I don't notice, but he's been avoiding me. And next week, I'm going to visit my mother… I just don't want her to see me like this."

"C'mon, Ryou." Marik stood up and sat at his desk, "You know we need you here. I mean, you're practically a celebrity, now. You're always on the front of the newspaper."

"Yeah, like the headlines, yesterday…" Ryou quoted, "Ishtar Industries Hires Doofus Mascot. Marik, they make fun of me!"

Marik yawned and opened the door, "Well, it was nice speaking with you, Ryou." He ushered the boy in the Marik suit out into the hallway, "See ya."

"But-"

When the door slammed, Marik sighed in satisfaction. Malik glared at him but before he spoke a word, there was another knock at the door.

"Ricky-dickey's tinky-winky." Called the voice.

"Come on in, Bakura." Malik opened the door and Bakura walked in. Malik looked at him and said, "You just missed Ryou, you know."

"Oh, I know. Trust me, that's a good thing. Have you smelled him lately? I mean, good god. He hasn't bathed in two months, he's always scratching, and when he has those bad dreams about Santa Clause, he comes into my room in the middle of the night!"

Marik and Malik shrugged, "What's bad about that? Didn't he always come to you when he had bad dreams?"

"Yeah, but now he's in that huge, scary Marik costume! In the dark, the eyes glow red!"

"I added that special feature." Marik snickered.

"Well, two nights ago, Ryou came into my room while I was sleeping and…

Flashback:

"Eek!" Ryou woke up with a start. He looked around and realized he'd just had another bad dream. "Santa…" Ryou muttered as he got out of bed.

He was sweating and really hot, just now noticing the Marik suit that he still had on. Opening the door, and walking out into the hallway, Ryou shuddered at how dark it was.

"Bakura…!" He whispered as he walked into his yami's bedroom. The door opened with a slight touch and he ventured forth.

Bakura rolled over in his sleep, and faced the wall. Ryou tapped him on the shoulder, "Wake up, Bakura, I need to tell you about this dream."

"Mmm…" Bakura mumbled but didn't say anything regarding Ryou or his dream.

Ryou shook his yami harder this time, "Bakura. C'mon, get up, you."

Bakura finally stirred and opened his eyes. He turned around and he tried to adjust to the darkness. Ryou still stood by his bed and starred at him, "Bakura-" he began in almost a ghostly moan.

The sleepy, yet terrified yami was backed up against the wall screaming, "Monster! Monster! Help, monster!"

Ryou stood there, confused and bewildered, while Bakura threw pillows at him and still yelled, "Oh, Ra, monster! Get out of here! Ryou, come here, there's a monster!"

"I'm Ryou!" He squeaked, as he dodged the pillows, "Bakura, stop, it's me!"

While all the high pitched screaming continued, Ryou's dad walked into the room and turned on the light, "Hey, hey, hey."

Both hikari and yami starred at each other then at the man standing in the doorway. Bakura slid down into the sheets and held his head, "Ryou… For Ra's sake, don't scare me like that."

Ryou hung his head, "S-Sorry."

"Enough of that screaming in here." Ryou's dad continued, "It's one in the morning and I have to go to work in four hours!" He turned around to leave but called back to his son, "And Ryou, boy, take a bath in the morning. You smell like fishcakes."

End Flashback.

Bakura finished his flashback and looked at Marik, "See? That's why I absolutely hate the fact that he can't take that costume off. It affects me, too."

Malik looked at his watch, "Well, you managed to kill five minutes."

"Listen, Bakura, that was really interesting but Ryou has a-" Marik was interrupted by the door opening and Pips running inside.

"Hey, Pips." Marik and Malik said in unison. "Why weren't you here yesterday?"

He scratched the back of his head, "Um, well… I… I was… taking care of my grandmother… But anyway! I got some bad news! We're going to have to take the Miniport off the market!"

"WHAT!" Marik, Malik, and Bakura screamed at him. "What do you mean we have to take the Miniport off the market?"

"Marik," Pips continued, "Haven't you been watching the news lately? The gas companies are going bankrupt. So are the airlines, and the car dealerships. Everyone with a Miniport poofs half a world away and that isn't good for the economy."

"Aw, c'mon! Since when did you start caring about the economy?"

"Since I was part of it, maybe! I mean… don't you care about the welfare of the planet? The Miniport could pull the rug from under the world as we know it."

"How do you figure?"

"Ugh! Think about it. With all this new-found freedom, soon, people will be trying to teleport to the sun! Do you know how low the population will become?"

"Why in heaven or hell's name would someone go to the sun?"

"Because they can!"

Marik rolled his eyes, "And who's fault do you think that is?"

Everyone looked at him, "Yours."

"O-Oh yeah! Mwe he he he he! Forgot…"

"Does this mean you both refuse to take the Miniport away?" Pips asked, "Are you really willing to risk the lives and financial well-being of this nation?"

Malik sighed, "Oh, I'm sorry, Pips… but it really doesn't concern us."

"That's right." Marik added, "So, end of discussion. 'Sides, we got more important things to worry about."

"We do?" his hikari asked. "What?"

"Tell ya in a sec." Marik turned around and waved his hands, "Okay, both of yas, out. Shoo."

Bakura walked out and before Pips could object a last time, he was take out as well. When they were gone, Marik looked at Malik, "I've got a feeling that Kaiba knows about us stealing the Miniport."

"Well, duh. How could he not?"

"Yeah, but that's my point. He hasn't done anything about it, and I'm starting to wonder if he ever will. I mean… it's not that big of a deal, anyway."

"Not that big a deal? Marik, we practically stole billions-no, trillions of dollars from him, and you don't think that's a big deal?"

Marik folded his arms, "Well, it's his own fault, ya know. He practically told us to steal money from him when he gave us a million dollars to begin with."

"I don't know… something tells me Kaiba's not going to let us be more famous or rich than him. At least not without a fight."

-

"I know Mr. Kaiba. I tried. Really." Pips was kneeling on toilet in a bathroom stall in the men's room. He was still at Ishtar Industries, but he couldn't get out of the building before his cell phone rang and Kaiba was yelling at him.

"Carter, can't you do anything right?" Kaiba was fuming mad on the other end of the line, "I mean, I give you one simple task… make Marik take the Miniport off the market! Is that really so hard?"

"Sorry, Mr. Kaiba."

"They're not exactly geniuses, you know. They should be easy to trick into doing something like that… but NO… not Pips Carter. He's always one step behind."

"Sorry, Mr. Kaiba."

"This is exactly why I fired you! Incompetent! Inefficient! Incoherent! Insane!"

"Sorry, Mr. Kaiba."

"And stop saying that!" Kaiba took a deep breath, "Okay. You know what? This is only a minor setback. I'm just going to have to do something about these two, myself."

"You? B-But Mr. Kaiba, really, you don't have to do that! I can take care of it!"

"If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. If I had remembered that two days ago, we wouldn't be in the situation. Tomorrow, I'm going to take care of this once and for all." 


	11. Malfunction

Something Corporate

Chapter 11:

The next day, Pips didn't show up for work. Not that Marik even noticed it, though. He was too busy planning what he was going to do with his money. He'd dragged his hikari into it, also, but Malik wasn't showing the same enthusiasm.

"C'mon, Malik. Don't you want a say in this too?" Marik was sitting on the floor, in the center of piles of money.

Malik was standing in front of the giant television set, in the corner of the office, and jazzercising along with the video tape, "I don't wanna, Marik. I'm having second thoughts about what Pips said. Don't you worry about the economy?"

"Not really. Hey, you know, I think we should buy a car with all this money. I'm tired of riding the bus."

"The bus is fun. I thought you liked it." He twirled around and pressed the pause button on the VCR. "Cars are overrated anyway, I support public transportation."

"… Maybe you're right."

"About taking the Miniport off the market?"

"No, about the car. I mean, we'd be the only ones on the road. Everyone else will be teleporting all around."

"Marik, all this money makes me feel dirty."

"Money will do that to you if you keep rolling around in it, naked."

Malik gasped, "Ah! You saw that?"

"Yup. You should learn to lock your door, Malik."

"AAAAHHHHH!" There was a loud scream from outside the office window. Marik and Malik's ears perked up and they ran over to the window sill. Looking down to the street, they couldn't really see much, except a crowd of people surrounding what Marik supposed was a car wreck.

"No," Malik shook his head, "I don't think it's a car wreck, there are never any cars on the street anymore."

"… Well, let's go check it out then."

"What? Why would we do that?"

"Because. All this," He waved his hand out the window, "Is going on outside our building. We don't want some kind of a scandal related to Ishtar Industries."

"Oh, okay."

"Plus, if it's something cool, I'm going to need to take pictures!" Marik took out his camera. "Let's roll."

Despite Malik's objections, they went into the elevator and came out on the bottom floor. Marik was the first one to rush over to the scene with Malik following. The yami was shoving young people out of the way and hitting old ladies over the head with his camera.

"Jeez, Marik, go easy." Malik called from outside the circle of people.

But Marik could no longer hear his hikari, because he'd reached the thing that everyone was crowding around, "Oh my Ra! What the hell is that?"

"What is it?" Malik called, "What do you see?"

Marik was standing right in front of a strange-looking person… err, actually, it was two strange-looking people combined. Their skin was actually intertwined to where in looked like one mangled human being. Eyes and ears and other body parts were all over the place (not on the floor).

The large crowd looked up when they heard the siren of an ambulance. They backed away slowly and the EMTs came and hauled the mess away.

When the two people were being put in the back of the ambulance, something dropped off it's arm and bounced onto the cement.

Malik looked down at it and picked it up, "Hey, Marik… Look, it's a melted Miniport."

"…Melted?" Marik looked at it, then turned around to see the ambulance speeding off to the hospital, "Hmm."

-

"Seto, are you sure about this?" Mokuba was sitting on the top if his big brother's desk and checking things of on his clipboard, "I don't think this is a wise decision."

"It's fine." Kaiba was dressed in a black stealth-suit. He was preparing to go over to Ishtar Industries and figure out a way to get the Miniport's name out of Marik and Malik's hands.

Mokuba shook his head, "It could be dangerous."

"Marik and Malik? Dangerous? Ha! They're about as dangerous as a puddle of kittens." Kaiba put his hood up and walked to the door of the office, "Don't wait up for me, Mokuba."

"But, wait! Don't you want me to have a limo ready for you?"

"No, I'm going to use… inconspicuous transportation."

Kaiba ended up riding the bus. There were a total of only five people, including him and the bus driver, but he stuck out because of the ninja-look. After thirty minutes of Kaiba being starred at and poked, the bus arrived in front of the Ishtar Industries Headquarters.

He got out and snuck up to the building, trying not to be seen, although it was in broad daylight.

Sticking his head through the revolving door, Kaiba was able to see the elevator. It was about to close with a bunch of people hurrying in, so he started running through the lobby, and took a dive through the closing elevator door.

Once he was inside, he sighed and thought, 'Whoop! I'm inside. Who knew I could be so sneaky? Now, if I know Marik… his office should be on the top floor. When I get in, I'll be able to sabotage his stupid little plan, and make Ishtar Industries crumble to the ground! Muahaha!'

Little did Seto Kaiba know that he'd said all that out loud. And every one of Marik's employees, that were in the elevatorwith him, were starring and whispering to each other.

The elevator hit the fourteenth floor, and Kaiba got out. He didn't want to be seen by any of Marik and Malik's guards, so he tiptoed around and when he heard footsteps, he hid behind a plant or painting (of course, he was easily seen by everyone, but they left him alone.)

President and Vice-President. That's what was engraved in big gold letters on a mahogany door at the end of the long hallway.

"Yeeees!" Kaiba patted himself on the back and snuck up to the door. He jiggled the door handle and it easily opened.

Kaiba first peeked inside, and when he saw that no one was there, he ran inside and shut the door behind him.

"Okay…" He looked around, and saw that the room was decorated in to halves. One side with regular blue wallpaper and the other with a leopard print. He went over to the leopard side of the room and looked through the desk drawers.

There were only a few things of particular interest to Kaiba … A picture of Marik and Malik, a yoyo, a spandex suit, and a few Madonna tapes. Kaiba pocketed the Madonna tapes and went over to the other desk.

He scrounged around in the drawers and didn't find anything but a few pieces of gum and some pictures of Yami and Yugi with red marks all over them. Kaiba sighed, 'Where in hell do they keep the important documents? These are pretty lousy CEOs, if you ask me.'

Kaiba turned around when he heard footsteps outside and Malik's whining. He looked around frantically, 'Gotta hide! Gotta hide!' He dove behind the first desk and crunched up into the shadows, hoping they wouldn't see him.

The door burst open with Marik and Malik following.

"Malik, I don't know what's going on, but it has something to do with the Miniport." Marik threw the melted and burned Miniport onto Malik's desk.

"But it could've been a coincidence. Besides, how could the Miniport have done that? I mean, do you even know what happened?"

"…"

"See? You're jumping to conclusions. This is all pure speculation. No proof." Malik folded his arms and sat down in his chair, behind his desk. He scooted in closer and his knee bumped something underneath the table top, but he didn't notice it.

Kaiba was the thing that Malik bumped into. When Malik's knee hit him in the eye, Kaiba had to hold in a squeak of pain.

"I don't need proof. This is my yami's intuition!"

"And this is my hikari's commonsense! You can't go around just saying things that you don't know about. What if this got out? That the Miniport was doing that to people. Do you know how much trouble we'd be in?"

Kaiba's ears perked up, 'Hmm? What's this?'

"Oh, come on, Malik. Do you honestly think that anything else besides the Miniport could've done that to those people? They were horribly mangled and their skin was intertwined! Their skin!"

'I better get this all on recording!' Kaiba pulled out a small digital recorder from his pocket and pressed play.

"It could've been shadow magic. Bakura or Yami might've-"

"Yami? That goody-goody? No way. Yugi keeps him on a short leash. And Bakura was here all day long."

Malik sighed, "Then… does that mean that the Miniport is, you know, malfunctioning?"

"I'm not sure. But if it is, it could be doing that to people all over the world. I'm not sure how it works though…"

"We… could find out."

Marik looked at him and tilted his head, "You mean…?"

He nodded.

"Boom, baby! That's what I'm talking about! Let's go, Malik." Marik opened the door and Malik followed him out and into the hallway.

When the door shut behind them, Kaiba got out from under the desk and looked at the little recorder in his hand. Then back at the door, "Someone was horribly mangled? Awesome. I never expected such great results. Ah, the comforts of being me."

-

It was about thirty minutes later, Marik and Malik came back to their house in order to find out more about the Miniport and if something like they had just seen could possibly happen.

So, this required yet another call to Mr. Elmer Fizz's house. Malik wanted to impersonate Mike Tyson again, but Marik encouraged creativity, so Malik decided to do someone else.

"Hello?" Elmer spoke into the receiver of the phone, "This is the Fizz residence, who may I say is calling?"

Malik said as daintily as he could, "Hello, Mr. Elmer Fizz?"

"Yes, ma'am. Are you calling for me?"

"Why, yes I am. This is Dolly Parton. I'm just calling you to tell ya that you've won a little ol' contest."

"Wow! Dolly Parton? Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Elmer was squeaking and squealing like a teenage girl with concert tickets. "This is just too cool! I mean, first it was Mike Tyson, now you! You're awesome!"

"Thank ya, darlin'. Now, in order to get your prize, I need ya to answer a few questions for me… Can ya do that, sugar?"

"Oh, yes, ma'am!"

In less than ten minutes, Elmer had yet again spilled his guts out to Dolly… err, Malik. Marik had the phone on speaker, so that he could hear, too. When the phone call was over, Marik congratulated his young hikari on becoming such an accomplished impersonator.

"So, I guess that means… the Miniport did do it." Malik sat back and sighed, "Marik, what are going to do?"

"I'll tell you what we're NOT going to do. We're NOT going to tell anyone about this."

"But, Marik-"

"Don't 'but Marik' me. If this kind of thing gets out, imagine the trouble we'd be in. We now know about the possibility of this catastrophe happening everywhere! This info could do some serious damage… So, we're just going to have to wait for this to blow over. No one knows the Miniport is behind this… we're safe, for now." 


	12. 9 o' clock

Something Corporate

Chapter 12:

"And now for our top story tonight… Just recently there has been a most unnerving incident throughout the world. People in all different countries have been found disappearing and then reappearing intertwined with another person. Scientist can't figure it out, just yet. More information must be obtained."

"Yes, Jen," Jack said, "But the latest fad, the Miniport, has been spotted at the scene, each time. Police and Scientists have yet to make a connection, but they're awfully close

Kaiba shut off the television in his office and turned around to the three people who were sitting behind him, "Did you see that? It's just about to hit the fan. Everyone's on the verge of finding out that the Miniport is behind this."

"It sure is taking them a long time." Mokuba said, "It's been a week since this all started and they're just now connecting it to the Miniports."

"And Marik and Malik probably don't even have a clue." Pips added.

"Well, actually…" Elmer scratched his head and looked up at the three people were starring back at him, "They… uh, they probably do."

Steam was coming out of Kaiba's ears as Pips nudged Elmer, "You shouldn't have said that."

"Fizz! What in hell's name did you do? Do you know how hard I had to work for that information? I finally got ahead of Marik and Malik! You better not have opened your big mouth and ruined it all!"

"… Um. Well, I got another phone call last week… and, um…"

"Mike Tyson?" Kaiba asked, breathlessly, "You fell for that again?"

"No way. Not Mike Tyson…um, Dolly Parton. She called and I was so taken at first that I won another contest… I didn't really think."

Kaiba sat down at his desk, and, as calmly as possible, he asked, "What did you tell them this time?"

"Eh he he he…" Elmer twiddled his thumbs, "Oh, I just… told them that the Miniport was probably malfunctioning due to it's worldwide use. A stream of teleportation that massive would indeed result in a overload of the space-time-continuum. That many molecules going at the same velocity would probably fuse together, causing the recent disfigurations that we've been experiencing."

Kaiba sneered, "Why are you so smart and so incredibly dumb at the same time?"

"I dunno." Elmer shrugged.

"So," Mokuba began, "I'm guessing you just lost your advantage on Marik and Malik, right Seto?"

"… Well, not really. Chances are Marik will want to keep this under his hat, as anyone would. So, I think I have a way to get out of this mess and at least break even." He turned around, "Carter, can you do something for me?"

"Oh! Yes, sir, Kaiba, sir!" Pips stood up straight and saluted, "I'd do anything for you to make up for my past disappointments."

"Good. Because I need to you to get Marik and Malik to come here."

"H-Here? But, Mr. Kaiba, sir… they wouldn't come here. I know that Marik is highly suspicious of what you think about this situation and"

"So, is this too big of an assignment for you, Carter?"

Pips gasped, "No! I… I can do it, sir."

Kaiba nodded and pointed at the clock on his desk, "Get them here by nine o' clock tonight."

"Nine o' clock? But, Mr. Kaiba, that's in one hour!"

"I guess you'd better get moving then, right?" He grinned.

"Yes, sir." Pips stood up and ran out of the office as fast as his peculiarly skinny legs could carry him. He reached the lobby and didn't even get into his car, just started zooming down the street and across town.

Marik and Malik were in their office, on the floor, playing video games with Bakura and Ryou. It was Saturday, and since no one really wanted to work, Marik declared a company holiday. Let's hear it for Video Game Day!

"I'm winning! I'm winning!" Bakura shouted with the controller in his hand, "You're all way behind!"

Ryou was having a hard time, he was in last place and complaining about it, "That's not fair! The hands for this stupid suit I'm in are holding me back! I can't even hold the controller right!"

"Stop whining, Ryou. You've never been very good at MarioKart." Marik said, "And will someone turn the volume down, it's really annoyingHey! Who shot me?"

"I did!" Malik grinned, "You disserve it for making me slip on that banana peel!"

Suddenly, Pips burst in through the door, panting heavily, "M-M-Marik… come… wi-with… hoo, man, that was a long run."

"Yeeeesssssss!" Bakura jumped up and screamed, "First place, baby! Beat that! Oh, yeah! Egyptian victory dance!" He began to mambo all around the room.

"Next time, I get to take off the stupid suit!" Ryou pouted.

"Oh, I'll beat you Bakura!" Marik looked at him and grinned, "I was just distracted by Ryou's whining. Any time, any place."

"Is that a challenge I hear?"

"Sure is!"

"Ha! You're on!"

Both Bakura and Marik jumped back in front of the large television and the Nintendo, and grabbed the controllers, "First one around the Rainbow Road course, wins. Three laps!"

"Hey, no!" Pips had caught his breath and stood in front of the T.V, "No, not now. We've got to get to Kaiba Corp!"

"Kaiba Corp? Why would we wanna go there?" Marik scooted the young man out of the way and continued the game.

Pips sighed and looked at the clock on Marik's wall. It was 8:28. They didn't have any time to waste but it looked like Marik was cemented to the carpet with his eyes glued to the screen. 'If I don't get them in that office in thirty-two minutes, Mr. Kaiba will fire me! Again!'

Malik came up to Pips while he was thinking, "Pips, why do we need to go to Kaiba Corporation?"

"Huh? Oh… yes, well." Pips had to think of something quick, "Yes… uh, he wants to strike a business deal. He, um, called and told me. He said that he'd buy the Miniport off of you… for a large amount of money."

"Really? Hmm. Wait right here, Pips." Malik went over to talk to his yami. Though Marik was still highly involved in that game, Malik was whispering in his ear, "Marik, this is our chance."

"Our chance to beat Bakura on Rainbow Road? Damn right. I'm gonna win."

"No! Kaiba wants to buy the Miniport from us. Think about it, we've been trying to think of a way to get the Miniport off our hands… this could be it. When the whole malfunction thing cracks wide open, it'll be Kaiba's problem."

"…" Marik wasn't fully listening, "What'd ya say?"

"If we don't do this now, Marik, we'll be under a mountain of trouble! This is our only chance to shift the blame. If we do this, you'll still come out on top of Kaiba! You can still win! He'll be stuck with all the blame!"

"… I like it. I like it very much!" Marik dropped the controller and stood up, "What are you standing around for, Pips? Let's get going!"

"Uh! Yes, let's go! It's already 8: 32! He's only offering this deal for twenty-eight more minutes!"

"What? Why didn't you tell us that before?" Marik grabbed his hikari's hand and they started running down the stairs. "We can't take the bus, it isn't fast enough!"

"And we don't have a car!" Malik added, "Pips, where's your car?"

"I… um, it's… in the shop! I ran over an old lady yesterday and she scratched the paint!"

"Oh, my Ra!" Malik gasped, "What a shame! That was such a beautiful car, too!"

They reached the lobby and ran out of the building, going fifty miles per hour. While running, Malik suggested they use the Miniports. But with all the things happening now, Marik didn't think that'd be too wise.

Pips looked at his watch, it read fifteen minutes to nine. And at this late in the evening, they couldn't see five feet in front of them.

"Marik, I don't think we can make it!" Malik whined, "But if we don't, we'll be totally done for!"

"Hmm." Marik stopped running and looked around. "There's gotta be something…"

When Marik stopped, Pips finally had a chance to catch up. He was about twenty feet behind the two at first, now he was practically crawling on the floor, "W-Water…"

"I… I need water…" He moaned. Pips looked up and saw Marik pushing someone off their motorcycle and into the street.

Malik was sitting behind his yami, while he put his helmet on. Marik motioned for Pips to come over, "Let's get a move on! We've got a deal to seal!"

Pips stumbled over, put his feet on the back and held on to Malik's hips, "Marik! This isn't your bike!"

"So, what else it new?" He stepped on the gas, and sped down the road.

Kaiba was sitting in the empty board room, on the forth floor of the Kaiba Corporation building. Elmer had gone home and Mokuba was sitting on a chair, in the corner, sleeping.

"They've got thirty seconds. There's no way they can make it." Kaiba whispered to himself, so as not to wake his sleeping brother.

Marik, Malik, and Pips were in the building, now. Marik slammed on the brakes as soon as he saw the large building. They all tumbled off the seat, and Malik had to practically shake Pips off his waist, because of the rocky ride, he was scared to death.

Inside the elevator now, Pips pressed the level four button, "Oh please, oh please!"

"Relax, Pips, I'm sure" Malik was cut off by the elevator door opening and Pips grabbing both his and his yami's hands.

He dragged them through the hallway and then kicked open a door. Kaiba was sitting in the large chair on the farthest side of the table, counting, "5...4...3"

"We're here!" Pips called, running in with Marik and Malik's hands in his, "I did it, Mr. Kaiba!"

"Very good, Carter. You're not as useless as I thought you were." Kaiba smirked.

"What's he talking about?" Malik asked, "You quit Kaiba Corp a long time ago."

Pips looked down, shyly, "Um, well…"

Kaiba stood up and looked at Marik and Malik, "Enough. We've got things to discuss, you two. Pips, you can go now, your presence is not required."

"Yes, Mr. Kaiba." Pips walked out and left his former bosses in a room alone with Kaiba and his little brother, who was still fast asleep. 


	13. The contract

Something Corporate

Chapter 13:

When the door closed behind Pips, Kaiba sat back down in his large leather chair. He motioned for Marik and Malik to sit down as well. They sat and Kaiba cleared his throat, "Well, Marik… and Malik, I know all about what you did regarding the Miniport and I don't"

"Wait! Please, we're sorry Kaiba!" Malik got on all fours and pleaded, "Please, don't chop us up into little pieces and eat 'em!"

"Malik, calm down…" Marik covered his face in embarrassment.

Kaiba rolled his eyes, "So unprofessional. Anyway, I didn't call you here to eat you. I wanted to make a deal with you."

They cocked their heads to the side in question. Marik grinned and nodded, "Oh, yeah, Pips said something about that. So, let's hear it, Mr. Bigshot. What's your offer?"

"Hmm." Kaiba turned his chair to face the wall and thought for a minute, 'I have to play my cards just right if this is going to work. Marik may not be as smart as I am, but he isn't blind. I gotta make it seem like he's getting the better deal…'

After Marik got his hikari up off the floor, he began impatiently tapping his fingers on the desk. "Kaiba… I'm getting bored over here."

"Do you have any diet Green Tea, Kaiba?" Malik asked.

Kaiba grunted, "All right, already! Marik, you know you want to sell the Miniport. So, sell it to me before the public finds out it's malfunctioning."

"H-How'd you know?" They both asked in shock.

"Oh please! Anyone with half a brain would've figured it out by now."

"The general public hasn't figured it out."

"That's my point."

Marik cleared his throat and said, "Okay, okay… But the question is how much are you willing to spend?"

"Marik…" Malik tugged on his yami's sleeve, "Marik, I just"

"Not now, Malik. Can't you see I'm trying to negotiate over here?" He turned back to Kaiba, who was writing in his check book.

Kaiba ripped out a piece of paper and slid in across the long, hardwood table, over to Marik and Malik. When Marik caught sight of it he whistled, "Whoa…"

"So, do we have a deal?"

Marik nodded, "Hell, yeah"

"Wait a minute, Marik!" Malik tugged on his sleeve once again, "Don't we both get a say in this?"

"Why are you complaining?" Marik lowered his voice and leaned towards Malik, "It was your idea to come down here and try and get out of this."

"I know…" Malik whispered back, "But something doesn't seem right."

"For Ra's sake… is this about your 'hikari's common sense' thing again?"

"Well, actually!" He put one of his hands on his hip and was pointing at Marik with the other, "Yes, it is. I mean, come on, don't you see the signs?"

"Oh, so now we're seeing signs!"

"Duh! Think, if Kaiba knows about the way the Miniport is malfunctioning, why in the world would he want to buy it from us for that much money? Don't you think it could be a trap? Don't you think he could be setting us up?"

"…" Marik tilted his head, "So, what's your point?"

"Ahhh!" Malik grabbed his hair and fell to the floor, "I give up! I give up! I give up! I give up! I give up! I give up! I GIVE UP!"

He groaned, "Here we go!"

Meanwhile, at the other end of the table, Mokuba was awake because of all the screaming and rolling around that Malik was doing. He and his older brother were starring at the hikari and yami who were engaged in a verbal fight of epic proportions.

"Jeez…" Mokuba gasped in awe, "And they do this every time…?"

"Yep. Man, I wish I had that amount of energy." Kaiba nodded.

"I hear ya…"

Kaiba stood up and walked over to Marik and Malik who were sword fighting with pencils. He pulled Malik off of Marik and sat him down gently on the floor.

"Now," He began slowly, "Are you two ready to talk this over like civilized human beings? Or are you just going to kill each other… again?"

They looked at him then nodded with shame showing all over their faces, "'Kay."

He reached inside his coat pocket and threw a rather large stack of important looking papers on the floor in between the two. Kaiba went over to the door and motioned for his brother to follow, "When you're done looking over the contract, I'll be back."

The door closed behind the two Kaiba brothers. Marik picked up the stack of papers and skimmed over the first page. "Yep. Looks legit to me. C'mon let's sign and get this over with."

"Hey! Marik, if we're going to do this, let's at least do it right. We've gotta read this thing all the way through."

Marik pouted, "But it's gotta be a bazillion pages long…! I don't wanna!"

"Oh, you're such a child!" He grabbed the papers and started to read down the page. "Hmm…. Okay…. Yep…. I know some of these words."

"Ugh!" Marik groaned, "This is going to take a while."

Outside the door, Kaiba, Pips and Mokuba were listening intently with their ears to the crack of the door. It had only been about five minutes or so, and Kaiba suspected it was going to take a lot longer if Malik was going read the entire thing.

"You don't really think he's going to read the whole contract, do you Seto? This could take days! Weeks!" Mokuba complained.

"No, he won't read it all." Kaiba answered, "He's got the attention span of a fly. In about another minute or two, he'll throw it down and say: The hell with it!"

Pips shivered, "Oh dear…"

"What?" They looked at him.

"I… I just feel so dirty. For tricking them like that, I feel terrible."

"Now is not the time for guilt, Carter. If this works out, you'll be able to come back and work for me. I'll even let you do my laundry again, doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Oh… yes, sir. So much fun."

"Don't sound so sad, Carter." Mokuba turned to him, "You said you didn't think of them as well as you used to. They're crooks."

"Yes, I know, Mr. Mokuba. I know they need to be put back in their place. But they were the only ones who were ever nice to me… when I didn't have a job."

Kaiba waved away the comment, "You can't be nice in the business world."

"… I guess not."

Malik was struggling, still reading the contract. He had to take out a dictionary from Kaiba's bookshelf and used it to translate the majority of the words into simpler terms.

Marik was sprawled out on the floor, drooling and snoring loudly. He was mumbling in his sleep and tossing over occasionally. When he rolled over on his hikari, Malik growled in aggravation. 

"Marik!" He yelled when his yami's body was on top of his foot, "Your making my leg fall asleep!"

"…gurgle…"

"Hey!" He shouted at Marik, who was dead to the world.

"…frumble…"

He slapped himself in the forehead and sighed, "Oh, I give up. I'm done reading the stupid contract."

"Cool." Marik popped up and took out a pen. He signed the front page. "Okay, now you sign."

"…" Malik hesitantly signed the paper, "There… I guess it's official."

Suddenly, the door burst open and Kaiba came stampeding into the room. He looked down at Marik and Malik who were on the floor. He walked over and bent down to grab the contract, "You both signed, right? Good. Here's your money."

Kaiba pointed to the check on the table and Malik grabbed it. They turned around to Pips who was standing in the doorway.

"Well, Pips," Marik began, "We just sold the Miniport to Kaiba Corp. That means that since we don't have a product, we don't have a company… and if we don't have a company… you kinda don't have a job."

"It's nothing personal, Pips! It's just"

"Say no more." Pips raised his hand, "I understand."

"Oh, but how will you live?" Malik made a dramatic fainting gesture with his hand, "Are you destined to forever live in the gutters of Domino? Are you forever condemned to the life of a hobo with a dead dog? Will you be forced to eat out of a dumpster?"

"Malik, please…" Marik groaned.

Pips chuckled, "It's quiet alright. I'll get by, I promise."

"Let's go, Malik." Marik grabbed his hikari's shirttail and dragged him out of the office while Malik called out, "Goodbye, dear friend!"

When the door shut, Pips wiped a tear from his eye, "I shall miss them. Wherever I am, I will never forget the two young criminals from Domino."

"Oh for crap's sake! They live right down the street!" Mokuba cried out, "You're a bunch of drama queens."

Kaiba shook his head, "Never mind them. We've got work to do if we want to get the most out of this." He held up a tape recorder, "They're not off the hook yet." 


	14. But I'm retired!

Something Corporate

Chapter 14:

It was a week after the contract between Ishtar Industries and Kaiba Corporation was signed. When Marik and Malik shut down their headquarters and went back home, Kaiba took the contract and the recordings of their conversations to every news paper, news channel, and news station within the country.

The news so spread to every place on Earth that had receive shipments of the Miniports. But, seeing as Marik and Malik don't ever watch the news or read the morning paper, they were not aware.

"So, it was true." Jack said, "Ishtar Industries knew about the malfunctioning of the Miniport all along, and they still continued to sell them."

Jen sighed, "It's a sad day in the corporate world when a company has to lie, just to keep from losing the admiration of their buyers. Who would've thought such a absolutely adorable company would do such a thing? And with such a cute mascot, too…" A picture of Ryou in the Marik costume appeared on the screen.

"Ahem… Jen, I think you've lost the plot, here… Anyway. One fifth of the population has been horribly mangled due to the recent Miniport incidents. Police and government officials are handling loaded complaints and requests for a trial of the former Ishtar Industries Presidents."

"More on that later tonight. But, first, the lottery numbers!"

Pips turned off the television and stood up. "Oh, I just can't take it anymore! This is driving me nuts, knowing that Marik and Malik are facing a trial!"

He plopped back down on the couch and sighed, "But what can I do…? Mr. Kaiba told me to stay away from Marik and Malik by any means necessary. But I can't just"

"…" Pips' was interrupted by Rupert, "…"

"Oh, Rupert, I can't!"

"…"

"No… not after what Mr. Kaiba has done for me. He's accepted me back, despite the fact that I'm tainted. I-I mean, he hired me in the first place."

"…"

"Yes, I know. But I have fun doing his laundry, really, I do! I even made up this little song when I do the coloreds… it goes like"

"…"

"Please, Rupert, don't use foul language."

"…"

"I know, I sort of am acting like a… well. Yes, you're right!" He hopped off the couch and bounded over to the door of the apartment. "I will, Rupert! I'll do just that!"

"…"

"You stay here, like a good boy!" Pips opened the door and closed it behind him, "I shall go forth and… follow my heart!"

Back at Marik and Malik's house, they were playing Tiddlywinks on the floor of their bedroom. Since the company was sold to Kaiba Corporation and they got all that money, they bought themselves a big mansion on the outskirts of Domino.

They even bought themselves a car, which they rarely used. Unless it was a boring afternoon and they wanted to run over old ladies.

"Aha!" Marik flipped the little, yellow chip onto the X, "Five points. You suck at this game, Malik."

"Hey, that's not true. I'm only…" Malik counted in his head, "Two hundred points behind. I can make it up in half an hour."

"Yeah, well" Marik was cut off when the large door to their bedroom flew wide open and a maid popped her head in.

"Mr. Ishtar, sir. T-There's some crazed man here to see you. He's scaring everyone dreadfully… please, sir, make him go away!"

"Hmm? Who is it?"

"A… A Mr. Carter, sir, he saysAAHH!" She ran down the hallway just as Pips came into the room waving a large stick around.

Malik raised an eyebrow, "Pips…?"

He quickly looked around and then stepped into the room, "Marik! Malik! Oh, am I glad to see you two! I just finished bombarding my way through guard dogs and maids with mace! Um… that's what the stick is for."

"Oh, I'm so happy to see you!" Malik ran up to him, "It's been way too long!"

"That it has."

Pips and Malik looked as if they were about to hug, when Marik intervened, "Whoa, that's enough of that. Listen, Pips, what are you doing here? I thought we got rid of all the nuts when we sold the company."

"Marik, you kidder." Pips chuckled, "I'm no nut. Rupert convinced me to come here. I have to follow my heart."

"Hmm. Well, as interesting as your heart sounds, I think I'll stay out of this." Marik began to walk away, but he was stopped by Pips' hand on his shoulder.

"Wait, there's something important I need to tell you two. Haven't you been watching the news today? What about the paper? Ishtar Industries is"

"Pips, we sold Ishtar Industries. We have nothing more to do with it, or it's new president. We're retired. Haven't you noticed the huge mansion we live in?"

"Ooh, yeah!" Malik nodded, "Did you see our pool outside? It filled with one hundred percent natural Jell-O. And it's the green kind, too."

"That's totally off topic Malik." Marik glared at his hikari.

"You guys! You might be facing trial! Mr. Kaiba has somehow given a recording to the police and every form of news media is covering the fact that the Miniport was stolen from Elmer Fizz, along with the fact that it's been malfunctioning!" "No way!" Marik and Malik exclaimed at once.

"Yes way. Every family that has had a loved one fall to the Miniport's malfunction is now filing a law suit, conjointly. Even though Mr. Kaiba is now the technical owner of Ishtar Industries, he's convinced the public that he's the hero in all this."

"I-I don't believe this… It's too much." Malik touched his cheeks, "First I was losing to Marik in Tiddlywinks and now I'm facing a trial against the entire country…"

"This just isn't your day, Malik." Pips shook his head.

"Oh, this can't be happening!" Marik growled through his teeth, "I've just retired and now I have to put up with Kaiba tricking me! How awful can you be to senior citizens?"

Malik poked his yami, "Marik, we've run over senior citizens just this week. And you aren't even eighteen yet, so don't over dramatize."

"That no-good, two-timing jerk! I can't believe the way he treats me! And after all I've done for him! He's going to pay, oh man, is he going to pay!"

"We can't do anything about it now…" Malik said lamely.

Marik turned to Pips, who was sitting on the bed eating caviar, "Pips! How could you put up with Kaiba for so long?"

"Well," Pips looked around nervously, "I'm here secretly. Mr. Kaiba didn't want me to see you at all. And besides, today's laundry day… I've gotta go in twenty minutes to wash the whites. If I'm late, Mr. Kaiba will make me eat another lizard again."

"…" After Marik came out of his daze, he asked, "So, when exactly is this trial? We're going to need to get a lawyer, I guess."

"It hasn't been decided yet, Marik. You two should really consider watching the news every now and then. It really would be a wonderful help." He looked at his watch, "Well, I must be going. I don't want to have to hitch-hike up to the Kaiba mansion again."

"Oh, Pips, thanks for telling us!" Malik smiled, "We wouldn't have known if you didn't come. You're a very good assistant… err, ex-assistant."

"Yeah, yeah." Marik said, indirectly, "Now, I've gotta figure a way out of this mess. See ya, Pips."

"Goodbye." Pips walked out the door. When it shut behind him, all the terrified maids and butlers came out of the shadows and chased him down the hallway and out the house with torches and pitchforks.

He hit the sidewalk and bounded down the street over to the Kaiba mansion. His car was still in the shop and since Pips thought of buses as a danger to his health, he ran everywhere. (A man's gotta have his exercise.)

When the large mansion came into view, Pips rang the doorbell and the maid led him inside. He immediately went into the laundry room and pulled out the detergent.

After about five minutes, Pips was well into singing a little ditty he made up to pass the time while doing Kaiba's clothes.

"Oooohh! The streets are glowing passionate blue… I'm winking at you every night. Just ooooooooone taste makes me love you…! Just like that special night"

"Ahem. Sorry, to interrupt." Kaiba stood in the doorway of the laundry room, leaning on the side of the wall.

"Gah! Mr. Kaiba, please don't frighten me so!"

"Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that my clothes you lost have been found. And I don't except to have to send a S.W.A.T team out to look for them again, you understand?"

Pips nodded, "Of course, sir."

"Good." Kaiba began to walk away but Pips made a small squeak, and he stopped. "Ugh… Yes, Carter?"

"Well… sir, I just wanted to know if you too would be filing a lawsuit on Marik and Malik. I-I mean with the whole world in a frenzy of fury against them, would it really be necessary to…"

Kaiba nodded, "Duh. That was the whole point. I give them money, they get in trouble, I need the money back. Elmer has promised to fix the malfunction when all this is over. I need that extra money to help pay for it all."

"B-But, Mr. Kaiba, they"

"They, what? Have you been speaking to them again? Carter I thought I told you NOT to talk to them!"

'Uh-oh!' Pips swallowed hard and thought of something to help the situation, "Just like that special night! I see you refracted in a cat's eye… That brilliant green…"

Kaiba quirked an eyebrow as Pips continued to sing. He thought, 'What the hell,' and sat down and listened.

"It'll be all right… In the shadows you connect me, just like that special night. When all we needed was a dream…" 


	15. Beginning of the Trial

Something Corporate

Chapter 15:

It was another week before the Supreme Court would take the case. Marik and Malik hired some lawyer they saw on a billboard and showed up on time on the confirmed date. March, 7, 2005.

During the week before the trial, Marik and Malik had little or no contact with Pips or Kaiba. Of course, once they found out there was a pending lawsuit against them, due to Kaiba, they put a horse's head in his bed. Needless to say, that wouldn't help them in court. Things like that never do.

Presently, they were in the courthouse, waiting for their lawyer to show up. It was totally packed in there, because there were a lot of people in the country trying to sue Ishtar Industries. But, they couldn't all do it at one time… all the people in the other countries, I mean. So, after this one, Marik and Malik would have to travel around the world to get to various countries that they… urm, mangled.

"Where is he?" Marik looked at his watch, "Kyte was supposed to be here by now. I swear, no one knows the meaning of punctuality!"

"Oh, relax… Look, there he is, right now." Malik pointed to the entrance.

A rather tall, dark haired man came running inside, trying to juggle his papers, and glasses without tripping over anything. "Marik! Malik! Never fear, Kyte is here!"

Marik rolled his eyes, "Yeah, never fear… what a joke." He turned to his hikari, "Malik, I can't believe I listened to you about hiring this guy."

"Aw, c'mon. I've got a good feeling about him, he may be clumsy and late all the time… but I think he had great credentials."

"Pheh."

"Okay, okay, I am here!" Kyte pushed his thick glasses up his nose, "Sorry, I'm late, but I had pressing business to attend to. It seems my stepmother has just fallen into a coma."

"Oh!" Malik gasped, "I'm sorry, Kyte, I didn't know!"

He waved away the comment with a smile, "Don't worry. I never liked the old bat anyway. Well, today's the day. Nervous?"

"A little…" Malik confessed.

Marik was leaning on the side of the wall humming to himself. "Dum da da dum… dum da da da da dum…"

"Well, that's good. It'll keep you on your toes." Kyte nodded to himself and looked inside a folder he'd been carrying, "I've never lost a case, and I don't intend to start with this one."

Suddenly the door opened and Kaiba walked in. He strutted through the hall in his trademark white coat, extra shiny and fresh-smelling (because Pips did such a terrific job). He was the leader of a short line that followed him down the corridor.

Mokuba was right behind his elder brother, and then Elmer Fizz was right behind him. And, of course, Pips was bringing up the rear, fumbling with and lugging a bunch of papers and documents, along with Kaiba's briefcase and Mokuba's laptop (complete with the charging battery and printer).

They walked past Marik, Malik, and Kyte who were standing by one of the benches, in front of the door to the courtroom. Their noses were high in the air as they ignored the other three's presence.

"What jerks." Marik said audibly.

As they went inside, Pips managed to whisper, "Good luck!" before he tumbled into the doors.

"Good ol' Pips." Marik and Malik smiled as they turned back to Kyte, "That's our old assistant. He's awesome once you get to know him. Crazy… but awesome!"

"Hmm… Well," Kyte looked at his watch, "It's time to skid addle! We've got to face the world in court. You both remember how to plead, right?"

"Not guilty." They said in unison, pleased with themselves for remembering.

Kyte pointed to the door and cracked it open, "Let's roll, my little clients."

They nodded and followed Kyte into the large room. Through the doors was a very big, glossy, wooden room full of people in suits and uniforms. Marik and Malik felt a little out of place when everyone else was wearing a business suit and they were wearing black leather.

Their seats were pointed out and they made themselves comfortable. It was still quiet after about two minutes of Marik and Kaiba starring evilly at each other from across the room.

A man in a dark blue uniform went and stood in front of the Judge's Bench, "Please rise for the honorable Judge Coral." He said forcibly.

Everyone in the room stood up and watched as a pale woman in a long black robe, from the back walked up to the bench and sat down.

"You may now be seated." The man said and everyone sat back down. He then took his previous position at the side of the bench.

"Ahem." She cleared her voice, "We are here for the trial of Marik and Malik Ishtar, former president and vice-president of Ishtar Industries. Mr. Ishtar," She looked at them, "I will now read your public offenses."

They nodded.

"This country and various others have charged you with purposely harming the general public with the Miniport in a state of malfunction and disrepair. Elaborate proof has been supplied to this court, thanks to Mr. Kaiba of your intentions." She smiled brightly at him, "But that is not why you're here today. The personal lawsuit filed by Kaiba Corporations on you is why we're here."

"Aw, what'd we do to him! He's got his company and the rights to the Miniport, what else could he possibly want!" Marik blurted out, with all eyes on him now he decided to continue, "After all, he's the one that gave us the mon-"

"Stop it!" Kyte and Malik pulled him back into his seat and shushed him severely, "What're you doing!"

"Mr. Ishtar!" yelled Judge Coral, "I will not have another outburst like that in my courtroom, do you understand?"

"Hmph… Yes, mommy." He said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Kaiba and his little group snickered, while Pips sighed and thought, 'Oh the tragedy of being caught in the middle! I hope this turns out better than it looks…'

"Mr. Ishtar," Judge Coral continued, "Was the gist of what you were just saying is that you deny Mr. Kaiba's claims on you?"

"Duh." He answered simply.

"Well," Kaiba stood up, "I anticipated his feeble attempt at covering his butt. So, I am well prepared to defend my case, with Mr. Chimera at my side!" Kaiba nodded towards the middle-aged, oily man sitting next to him.

"Oh no…!" Kyte muttered, "Not Chimera."

"What do you mean, 'not Chimera'?" Marik and Malik looked at him, "What, is this bad or something?"

"You could say that… Mr. Chimera is an excellent attorney. He knows how to make everyone crack. It's something about his methods… He's totally unstoppable when he gets in the groove."

"Well, I certainly hope you have a way of countering his groove!" Marik said.

Kyte shrugged, "We'll find out. I've never done this before."

"WHAT!" Malik and Marik yelled, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. They lowered their voices and asked, "What do you mean you haven't done this before? You said you've never lost a case!"

"Technically, that's true. Since this is my first time, I haven't ever lost a case."

Marik turned to Malik and said, "This is all your fault! You hired him!"

"My fault? It was your fault for ever getting us involved in this in the first place-"

"Mr. Ishtar, Mr. Ishtar, and Mr. Kyte. Are you prepared to defend your case against the Kaiba Corporation? If not, I can let the jury judge you right now and we'll be finished before lunch time."

"No, no…" Kyte stood, "We're prepared."

"Fine, then." Judge Coral raised her gavel and slammed it down, "The court will now come to order and the lawsuit of Kaiba Corporation vs. Ishtar Industries will now begin."

"I suppose I shall jump right in." Mr. Chimera rose from his seat and walked out to the middle of the room, "I would like to speak, first, of the issue with Mr. Kaiba's integrity. As you say, Mr. Ishtar, that Mr. Kaiba has been unfaithful and has tricked you, is that correct?"

Marik nodded carefully, "Yeah…"

"Well, Mr. Kaiba has been in the public eye for… going on seven years now. He's a respectable man in the community, and this city has always been proud of their young business pioneer. Mr. Ishtar, however-"

"Objection, your honor!" Kyte shouted, "All that is irrelevant!"

"Overruled." She said, simply. "Continue, Mr. Chimera."

"I have a witness from Marik and Malik's own street. She says… well, I'll let her tell you herself. Mrs. Peggy, please rise and come to the witness stand."

Out of the audience, stood a withered old woman. She used her cane to trot up the bench and sat in the seat by the Judge.

The guard came up to Mrs. Peggy and put her hand on the Bible, "Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I promise," She said frailly and made herself comfortable in the seat.

"Now, Mrs. Peggy," Chimera began, "Could you tell the court in your own words, what Marik and Malik have been to you, the past year that they lived on your street."

Marik growled through his teeth, 'That old bat's gonna get us locked up!'

"Oh… it's hard to describe those two. They're so strange!" She shivered, "Weird things always go on in their house. I always see these people going in and out… people with spiky hair. Music going at all hours of the night. Magic voodoo. It's all so confusing…"

"Magic voodoo?" Mr. Chimera looked at Marik and Malik accusingly, "Can you specify if they've ever used magic or voodoo on you, Mrs. Peggy?"

"Well. There was this on time about a year ago… I'm not really sure what happened but, when I came to, I was standing… nude, in the middle of the street, with those two laughing at me!" She burst into tears and dropped her cane on the floor, "Oh, it was awful!"

The jury and the people sitting where aghast and appalled. They all turned to face Marik and Malik who were burying their faces in shame and woe.

"Heh heh." Mr. Chimera walked back to his seat, "Your witness, Mr. Kyte."

Kyte swallowed hard and stood up, trying to be professional, "Mrs. Peggy. Please, if you could, tell the jury about how Marik and Malik have helped the community since they moved to your neighborhood."

"Um…" She sniffed, "Well, for whatever reason they had, they've planted flowers all around and they scared all the thugs and hobos away. That's good, I suppose. Oh! And they made those noisy children leave me alone. That was nice."

"T-They did?" Kyte was surprised, "I mean, of course they did! You see, Your Honor, Marik and Malik Ishtar are simply seventeen. They play their share of tricks, like teenagers do, but they have a soft side for doing good. The defense rests."

Kyte sat back down with Marik and Malik and asked them, "Why'd you two plant flowers by her house?"

Marik sighed, "World domination plan gone wrong."

"Ah."

The next witness was called to the bench. Mr. Elmer Fizz. He took the oath and then seated himself.

Mr. Chimera grinned under his white mustache, "Mr. Fizz, you say that both Marik and Malik robbed you of the Miniport in the first place, correct? Please explain how it happened."

"Eh he he he he he he he he! Yes, of course!" Elmer was all smiles, "It was the day of my College's Science Fair, last year. I had been scooping out the competition, and my project seemed to be the best. A few judges came over and congratulated me, then when I thought the judging was over, there were Marik and Malik." He pointed at them. "They told me that they were judges and they asked me how my invention, the Miniport, worked. I explained it in terms too advanced for their comprehension, and even gave a demonstration. Before I knew it they had run off with both the Miniports! It was traumatizing!"

Elmer fake-cried for a while and Mr. Chimera patted him on the back, "There, there." He whirled around to face the courtroom, "You see, Marik and his subordinate have no conscience and therefore they are quiet capable of stealing and deceiving."

"What do you mean, 'subordinate'!" Malik called out, "Why, I oughtta…!"

Marik shushed his hikari and then Chimera continued, "Mr. Fizz has also confirmed that Marik and Malik tricked him on two other occasions by impersonating celebrities. Specifically Mike Tyson and Dolly Parton. They'd do anything to keep their companies reputation intact."

Whispers among the jury and the audience began. Judge Coral slammed her gavel down once again. "We will now take a recess. This trial will be continued and concluded in thirty minutes." She turned to Mr. Chimera and Kyte, "Would you both like to prepare the next witness before the break?"

They nodded.

"Very well. You've told me your joint witness will be Mr. Pips Carter, yes?"

Pips' ears perked up, "Huh?"

Kaiba grabbed his shirt collar, "Pips, after the recess, you're going to be taken under oath as a witness. This is very important, so don't you dare screw this up!"

The gavel slammed down again, "Break!" People got up and began to leave. Marik and Malik were looking pale as they stumbled out with Kyte at their side. Pips gasped, 'I-I'm going to have to testify? Against… Marik and Malik?' 


	16. You choose friendship

Something Corporate

Chapter 16:

Everyone left the courtroom and went out to either use the bathroom or go eat lunch across the street. When the courtroom was emptied of everyone, even Judge Coral, Pips was still sitting in his seat.

He just couldn't get over what Kaiba and the Judge had said. He'd have to take the stand and testify against Marik and Malik? Why? Why couldn't it be Kaiba… or maybe Mokuba?

"Oh, I don't know if I can do this…" He sighed and got up. The doors were still opened and he went out into the hallway.

Marik and Malik were sitting on the bench about ten feet away. They were just sitting there, not really saying anything of any particular importance, but Pips went ahead and sat down with them anyway.

Malik looked at him, "… Hey, Pips, what's up?" He said half-heartedly, and nudged his yami to say something as well.

"Yeah, hi…"

"Hello." Pips whispered.

They sat in silence for about five minutes, till Pips looked at his watch and sighed loudly, 'I… I have to say something to them. This silence is killing me…'

He cleared his throat, "Well, it's… it certainly is hot out today." Immediately, Pips slapped his forehead, 'Aw, that isn't what I wanted to say!'

"Oh yes, it… it is very hot out." Malik agreed, when Marik didn't say anything, he nudged him again.

"Yeah, hot..."

Another five minutes of awkward silence followed. And, out of the blue, Pips stood up and shouted, "I… I don't want to do this! You know that, right!"

Marik raised an eyebrow and then looked at Malik who was surprised at the sudden outburst as well, "Oh, I know… we know that… eh, it's just that there's really nothing either of us can do about it… is there…?"

Pips sat back down, "…"

Just down the hallway, Kaiba and Chimera were walking and talking about the trial. They told each other that they never thought of how easy it would be to get Marik and Malik buried in court. All the witnesses they called all point to one word… guilty.

"Oh, yes." Chimera chuckled, "When you told me about those two, I thought you were exaggerating, but it seems that they really are clueless. To hire such an inexperienced lawyer on such a large case? What a joke."

"Heh heh. Well, that's Marik and Malik for you. They have no judge of character. This entire thing has been so easy from beginning to end. First they thought they were going to scam me and ruin Kaiba Corp, but now they're facing a prison sentence."

"God couldn't have written this any better."

Kaiba smiled, "The last piece of the puzzle will be testifying in less that fifteen minutes. Carter is all we need to seal the deal. You're questioning him, first, right?"

"Yes. But it doesn't matter, even if young Kyte was going first. Mr. Carter wouldn't open up to him. His loyalty to you is too strong, right? I've seen the way he is around you. The perfect subordinate."

Before Kaiba could say anything, he and Chimera stopped right in the middle of the hallway. Kaiba did a double take when he saw Pips sitting on a bench with Marik and Malik on either side of him. Pips' face was red and looked as if he'd been crying or something.

Kaiba and Chimera rushed over there and grabbed Pips by the tie and yanked him up at eyelevel with Kaiba, "What in hell's name are you doing with them?"

"Um! I was… just talking, Mr. Kaiba!" Pips squeaked and tried to get Kaiba's hands off him, "Really!"

"Yeah, right! Do I have to make you eat another lizard? This is the worst possible time for you to go against my directions!"

"Kaiba! Let him go!" Malik stood up and pulled Pips away from Kaiba's grasp, "You have no right to treat your employees like that!"

Marik looked at Pips, "Why aren't you quitting? You don't need to suffer this kind of abuse from Kaiba, of all people!"

Kaiba growled, "Carter, listen to me. Did you just hear what Marik said? He wants you to quit Kaiba Corp, so you can go up in front of the jury and lie for them! Is that the kind of people you want to be around? Think about it, you've been with me for three years, you worked so hard for the past three months to get back with my company… don't throw it away, Carter."

Pips starred at Kaiba then looked back at Marik and Malik, who were arguing amongst themselves about what to do.

"I think Kaiba's right. Malik, it does look like we're doing this for ourselves." Marik whispered to his hikari. "We're in a weird situation."

"Who cares how it looks? Are we just gonna sit idly by and watch Pips be manipulated? Pips doesn't want to be with him any longer!"

"How do you know? Kaiba said that Pips' been trying to get back with him for the past few months. It does make sense now. All those things… when he knew about Kaiba wanting to deal, when he was acting funny… He knew what we did."

"…"

Pips overheard what they were saying and before Malik could ask him about it, he blurted out, "He's right. I-I need to be loyal to Mr. Kaiba… for once."

Malik tilted his head, "You… you mean you actually knew? All that time, you knew! Why didn't you-"

"Mr. Kaiba, the recess is over. It's time for me to take the stand, now." Pips said, ignoring Malik.

Kaiba grinned in triumph, "Heh. See you inside, guys." He said tauntingly to Marik and Malik. They were soon inside the doors, with Chimera following.

Marik sighed, "Well, that's a bummer."

"A bummer! Is that all you have to say after that?"

"Eh… yeah, that's about it. C'mon, let's go. We have to face our doom… Oh, Ra, this isn't going to be pretty."

In another three minutes, everyone was back in the courtroom, seated and ready for the conclusion of this crazy case. The bailiff came to the center of the room and said, "All rise for the honorable Judge Coral."

Everyone stood and the Judge came strutting out and sat down.

"You may now be seated."

"Mr. Carter, please come up to the bench, and take the oath." She said gently, probably because he looked fragile. "Mr. Chimera, your witness."

The bailiff came put his right hand on the Bible he held, "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

Pips looked out into the crowd, first at Marik, then Malik, and his eyes settled on Kaiba. He took a deep breath, "I swear. To tell the truth."

Marik slumped back in his chair, "Hoo boy."

Kaiba beamed from ear to ear, 'This is it.' he thought, excitedly.

"Mr. Carter," Chimera began, "You were fired by Mr. Kaiba after working for him for three, years, correct? (Pips nodded) Well, then, you began to work for Ishtar Industries, and you became Marik and Malik's assistant… tell me, did they ever behave strangely?"

"Yes." Pips said stoically, "But then, they always do."

"Heh heh. Do you remember if Marik and Malik told you specifically that the Miniport was their invention? Their creation?"

"They did. I asked often and they said yes."

"Did you ever find out otherwise, that the Miniport was in fact created my Mr. Elmer Fizz?"

"…" Pips looked down, "I was… at Mr. Kaiba's office one day and met Elmer. He and Mr. Kaiba explained it all. It was right after Marik and Malik made the manual to go with the Miniport. I found out later that Malik had disguised his voice and tricked Elmer into explaining the Miniport."

The Jury looked straight at Marik and Malik and whispered to each other. Chimera smirked and said, "The prosecution rests. Mr. Kyte's witness."

Chimera sat down next to Kaiba and whispered, "I bet Kyte will only dig himself in deeper. This should be amusing."

Kyte stood up and walked over to Pips, "Mr. Carter. You've been saying how you know that my clients didn't invent the Miniport…"

Pips wasn't listening to anything that Kyte was saying. Kyte could've been explaining the way to gain immortality, and Pips wouldn't care at all. He was too busy inside his head.

'Oh my God…' He thought, 'I-I've just done the unthinkable… I've sold out the only people that have ever been nice to me. Even Rupert has been rather abusive lately… Marik and Malik are the only one's who… oh no! I can't let them face a prison sentence! Not when they… I know what I have to do. But…'

"M-Mr. Carter?" Kyte starred at him, "Mr. Carter, were you listening to the question?"

"…" He kept his eyes blank starring out into oblivion.

Kyte swallowed hard and then scratched the back of his head, "Jeez, talk about space-case."

Marik tilted his head, "What's up with him?"

"Maybe he's had a nervous breakdown or something." Malik said, "He's always been a bit fragile. Maybe he's finally cracked."

Judge Coral looked down at him, "Mr. Carter, are you all right?"

"…" Pips sighed and stood up, "Mr. Kaiba tricked Marik and Malik. He's the one who everyone should blame. He manipulated Marik."

Everyone gasped and looked at Kaiba. Kaiba's face was a reddish-blue color as he balled both his fists. Marik and Malik kept both their eyes focused on Pips.

"Kaiba's known Marik for quiet some time." Pips continued, "He knows what makes Marik not think as much as he should. I was there when Kaiba threw a contract at Marik and Malik, saying that he wanted the Miniport. It was too much money, Marik couldn't resist it. He didn't care about the people getting mangled like he said! Kaiba didn't even care about the money! He and Marik were in a contest to see who's company could survive this mess! That's what this whole thing is about!"

"Carter!" Kaiba shot up and slammed both his fists on the table, "Shut-up!"

"No! I'm not going to!" He shouted back, "I'm not going to listen to you anymore, Kaiba! I'm not going to waste my life kissing your fanny!"

It was then that both Marik and Malik fell backwards into their chairs laughing. Kaiba glared at them but they didn't even notice.

"They're the good ones," Pips was addressing the Jury as he pointed to Marik and Malik, "Kaiba isn't the perfect, clean businessman that Chimera made him out to be. He strung them along just about every step of the way. And about Elmer being tricked by Malik's impersonation, that was just stupidity. He desserved it."

The Jury nodded and talked to each other, then one stood up, "We'd like to talk this over amongst ourselves. Requesting small recess."

Judge Coral slammed her gavel, "Recess granted. When we come back, we will hear the Jury's verdict."

"Wait…" Pips held up his hand, "Please… let me say just one more thing. I'm sorry, Marik. I'm sorry, Malik. I almost let the Jury give their verdict when I wasn't being totally honest. You both have been better than any boss ever could. Thank you."

Marik wiped a fake tear from his eye, "I think I'm going to cry!"

Malik nudged him and smiled back at Pips.

The gavel slammed down once again and the Jury left the room.

Two minutes later, when they were waiting, Malik was talking to Kyte and his yami about the way the Jury decides the verdict.

"I heard once that when they take only a little while to decide, that it's not a good thing…" Malik said, "But when they take a long time, it means their debating over you. Is that true?"

Kyte nodded, "I had Jury duty once. They mostly just write down either guilty or not guilty on little slips of paper. And then they draw out of a hat."

"Really!" Marik and Malik starred at him, "That's what their doing?"

"Well, that's how it was when I was in the Jury. But that was about ten years ago, and I'm sure times have changed."

"That's good to hear…"

Suddenly, the side door opened and the Jury walked back in their seats in two straight lines. The woman who stood up before, stood again, "We have reached a verdict."

Everyone stopped talking and gave them their full attention.

"Ahem." She cleared her voice, "Guilty."

Marik and Malik fell over in their chairs and Kyte slapped his forehead, "I lost one…" He said.

Kaiba and Chimera gave each other a look of triumph and then glared at Marik and Malik. Pips stood up and screamed, "WHAT!"

"And not guilty." Said the woman, still standing, "We also have the verdict not guilty."

Everyone looked at her. Judge Coral twisted her mouth, "There is only one verdict. You are aware of that aren't you?"

"Yes. But we have an idea, since this happens to be a very… strange case. I… err, we propose that Marik and Malik not be thrown in jail, but repent in regular society."

"How?" The Judge asked.

"As Mr. Carter said in his statement, the contract with Mr. Kaiba provided Marik and Malik with an incredibly large amount of money. He could pay the damages for this trial and, as for the trials ahead, he will have to settle them with the other courts."

Judge Coral turned to Marik and Malik, "Mr. Kyte, will your clients accepted the Jury's conditions?"

Kyte turned to them, "Well, guys, what do ya say? Sounds good to me."

Marik nodded eagerly, but Malik groaned, "This means I'll have to give up my lovely green Jell-O pool!" Marik slapped him and Malik agreed.

"They will comply." Kyte told the Judge.

"Very well then. I hereby sentence Mr. Marik and Malik Ishtar to give all their gained money to the cause of the families in Domino that were affected by the Miniport's malfunction and as for the lawsuit against you from Kaiba Corporation, they get nothing. (Kaiba moaned) Marik and Malik, your other court dates will be mailed to you later in the week. Court adjourned!" The gavel was slammed for the last time.

They all rushed out of the building. Some of the people congratulating the two Egyptians and some, like Kaiba, just sulking.

When Marik and Malik got out, they met Pips out on the stairs. He was waiting for them and smiling when he said, "Well… that was interesting. I'm sorry you won't get to keep all that money."

"Eh… I had a feeling it wouldn't last forever." Marik shrugged, "We'll get used to living back in out old house."

"My poor pool of Jell-O…" Malik whined, then got smacked by Marik. He smiled again, "Pips, that took a lot of guts for you to speak out in court like that. It was really nice of you… if you hadn't done that, we'd probably be in a cell in the Domino City Jail right about now."

"No, no…" Pips blushed, "I just did what any friend would do."

"Carter!" Kaiba came storming down the steps and over to the three standing next to each other, "What in heaven's name were you thinking? You cost me a huge business venture! You know this means your fired, right! I'll make sure you can't get a job as anyone's assistant anymore!"

"I don't care what you have to say Kaiba! I don't need you or a job as an assistant! I'm beginning a new life with my new best friends!" He put his arms around Marik and Malik, and they made nervous gestures.

"Grr!" Kaiba growled and jumped into his limo. They drove off and left Pips, Marik, and Malik standing on the corner.

Pips sighed, "Well, I should be going as well. I'll be with you guys when you attend your other court meetings. So, just let me know where to go… I'll be there." He started to walk down the street and soon was out of sight.

"Well. We'd better get over to our mansion and start packing. If you really want to take all that Jell-O with you, were going to have to put it all in a big box. Or maybe three or four."

"Really? We can take it?"

"Sure. But, you know, it… uh, might leak."

Epilogue:

All together, Marik and Malik had fifteen trials in different countries around the world. They were exhausted when they got back, and poor. All the money that Kaiba gave them wasn't enough to pay for all the worldwide expenses, so they had to dip into their own account.

It wasn't so bad, but Malik did make a pretty big fuss when they had to sell his Beanie Baby collection. Marik forced him to and they got off with six months of probation and community service.

As for Pips Carter, he no longer worked for Kaiba Corporation or any other corporation for that matter. He now works as a waiter at the Little Rock Coffee Shop in southern Domino. His work keeps him busy most of the time but he keeps in touch with his two very best friends.

Kaiba's plan for the Miniport was washed down the drain. He mourned it for a little while but then moved on to bigger and better things. Elmer Fizz is now his assistant and business partner. Their next project is coming out this summer.

Even after all that's happened with Ishtar Industries and Kaiba Corporation, Marik and Malik still keep their business door open for future schemes in the corporate world. But something tells me they wont be doing anything corporate for a while.

THE END… 

Her Sweetness: does the happy dance Woo, baby! I'm done! Oh yeah! Welp, I'm gonna start on my next one. I just gotta figure out a name, then it's posting time.  
Please Review and tell me how I did. 


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